


Kaoru's Struggle

by Ms_Midnight



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Don't Hate Me For the Angst, Feels, Fluff, Haruhi/Hikaru - Freeform, Incest, It Gets Better, Kaoru/Tamaki, M/M, Only for Short Time, so many feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-01
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-01-17 18:50:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 27,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1398685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ms_Midnight/pseuds/Ms_Midnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaoru must face his brother Hikaru every day feeling a love towards his brother that couldn't (and shouldn't) be. What will happen when Hikaru finds out Kaoru's feelings? Will he return his brother's affection? Or leave Kaoru behind...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: THIS DOES NOT BELONG TO ME!!! No matter how much I hope... It is not going to happen unfortunately... Oh well, I hope you enjoy this story. This is my first so be nice please.
> 
> Warnings: This is an INTRO CHAPTER! It gives a look into Kaoru’s mind and it is not that steamy... Give me a chance and it will get MUCH better later on but like I said, this chapter is slow. 
> 
> Summery: Kaoru must face his brother, Hikaru, every day knowing that he feels something much worse for his brother than hate... and that is LOVE. A type of love that has no place in a family.

3rd person P.O.V.-  
Hikaru stirred from his sleep noticing the bed dip as another body got up to leave. He quickly reached out to grab for his brother, whose back was turned towards him.. It was quite irregular for Kaoru to get up in the middle of the night and what kind of brother would he be if it didn’t raise some suspicion in his mind.

“Kaoru, what’s wrong?” Hikaru looks over at the clock that glows with the time 4:38 am. “It is most unlike you to get up in the middle of the night”.

Kaoru turned slightly towards Hikaru but refused to meet his brothers’ eyes. Kaoru seemed to be upset and the feeling was confirmed through the special bond the twins shared. However, even though they both knew that Kaoru was far from ok, he tried to lie anyway.

“Do not worry brother,” Kaoru said “I am just going to the bathroom. I didn’t mean to wake you... Go back to bed, you have a big... date... tomorrow. I will be right back.”

If Hikaru noticed how Kaoru’s voice broke slightly over the word “date” he said nothing of it. He was to busy mulling over the fact that Kaoru had LIED to him. They shared everything with each other since they were little, even their feelings.

Hikaru knew though, that recently they had been drifting slowly more apart and it killed him not knowing why. Hikaru figured that he would confront Kaoru about the space that was growing between them when Kaoru got out of the bathroom.

Hikaru yawned; the sheer size of their room was much more predominant when Kaoru was not next to him. He struggled to stay awake so he could have the heart to heart that the twins needed to have.

Hikaru had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. He drifted off to sleep feeling that something bad was going to happen between his twin and him, something that would change their relationship forever...

Kaoru’s P.O.V.-  
I awoke with a jolt and risked a quick glance over at our clock. 4:16 am... Great, it’s way too early to start getting ready for the day, why am I up this early anyway? Oh yeah, the dream... 

That dream felt more real than was comfortable for me. I knew my twin would never act that way towards me, not when he had his precious Haruhi... I know I have no right to complain about his feelings towards Haruhi but I can’t help it.

We were great when we were in our own little world, Us and Them... But then Haruhi has to come and tear down those walls we built around us. 

I look over at my twin who doesn’t seem to have noticed my internal struggle. When we were younger and I woke up from a nightmare, I would always find Hikaru next to me and ready to comfort me.

Our bond was stronger back then... I don’t think he’s noticed the steady decrease in our bonds’ strength over these last couple of months. Maybe he is in denial over that fact, but I can’t overlook something like that. The bond between us is my life... I was never the outgoing one between the two of us, and I used that bond to make sure I was never alone because I knew that if I let Hikaru forget about it then Hikaru would leave me alone while he went out with others, completely forgetting about me.

Over the years the need for my brother to stay by my side finally got a name... Love. But this wasn’t the type of love that brothers normally feel for each other, no this was much worse. This was Lust. There is a special place in hell for the likes of me. Lusting after my older brother like an animal in heat... It’s disgusting but I can’t do anything about it no matter how hard I try, and trust me, I’ve tried.

Just thinking about this is reminding me of my dream... Ugh! I chance a look over at my brother and can’t believe how peaceful he looks. The moonlight is streaming through our window and lands on his face perfectly. The moonlight makes his pale face glow in an almost otherworldly way. He looked so happy in his sleep, there was no way I was going to disturb it. I begin to survey his face and notice all the small details of his face.

Hikaru’s eyebrows are perfectly shaped and matches his hair color to a tee. For some reason mine are a slight shade darker but you can’t really tell unless you are really close... or you’re Haruhi... anyway. Even though his eyes are closed, I can still see those amber eyes piercing mine with an intensity my eyes will never know.

My eyes move farther and farther down his face until they rest upon his lips... Those perfect, plump lips that I’ve dreamed about kissing me more times than is appropriate.

They look even more red in the moonlight and I soon find myself leaning in just so I can get a quick taste of them for myself... closer... closer... and closer still until

A small grunt escapes those lips and I pull myself out of my sick fantasy. I look over my twin’s shoulder at the clock that now reads 4:37. My entire body feels wound up with energy and... Oh my God! I got hard just thinking about kissing my twin! I need to get up... NOW!

I slowly turn and sit up at the edge of my bed until I hear a sound that nearly stops my heart.

“Kaoru, what's wrong? It is most unlike you to get up in the middle of the night.”

Even with our weakened bond, I know that he can still tell that I am far from ok while he is awake. I know I should just tell him what is wrong with me... but I don’t want to loose my brother. So I keep my problems to myself and I proceed to lie through my teeth.

“Do not worry brother,” I say “I am just going to the bathroom. I didn’t mean to wake you... Go back to bed, you have a big... date... tomorrow. I will be right back.”

Of course it is hard for me to acknowledge such a terrible thing but it is impossible for me to forget about it. After all, Hikaru took nearly a week to ask out Haruhi and of course I stood by his side as he struggled with his new emotions that he has towards the commoner.

I got up while Hikaru seemed lost in his own thoughts and made my way towards our bathroom. I knew he wouldn’t be able to stay awake at such an early hour in the morning so I stayed in the bathroom and forcing my little problem into submission. There was no way I was going to degrade my brother by wanking in our bathroom while he slept (hopefully) on the other side of the wall.

Luckily, by the time I had left the bathroom my brother was indeed asleep but now his brow was wrinkled in and a troubled look was on his face.

I slowly crawled into bed and got back under the covers. My brother instantly threw his arm over my body and a smile crept across his face.

Even though I was struggling with my feelings towards my brother, it was my struggle... I would never let anyone else carry this burden, especially my brother! I succumbed to the darkness knowing that I would make my twin happy in any way possible... even if that included me leaving so Haruhi could take my place.


	2. The Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so now that the intro is out of the way, the story should be much better :) I think I prefer to have the story in the p.o.v.’s of the lovely twins and not an outside source but I’m still not sure how long I’m gonna make this story but.... we’ll see
> 
> Anyway... on with the story

Kaoru’s P.O.V.-

Ugh. That brother stealing Bitch. Now a days the only time I have my brother’s undivided attention is when we are at the host club, and now I don’t even get that. He’s standing over by Haruhi right now... on the other side of the room.

Granted, the customers have not shown up yet, but we always used to sit in our area before the ladies showed up. If we went elsewhere in the club, we would always be together... maybe to bother Tamaki or annoy Kyouya... but always together.

I walked over to a window in the far corner of the room and sat on the window seat looking out over the other students. I was so lost in my brooding that I didn’t even notice Hikaru walk up behind me!

“Kaoru, why are you all the way over here? I almost couldn’t see you over here... all by yourself.”

Hikaru seemed to be leaning in closer than I thought was necessary in this situation but as long as he is paying attention to me and no one else, then who am I to complain?

“Don’t worry about me Hikaru, I was just thinking about your big date later with Haruhi.”

It wasn’t a lie. I was trying to come up with a way to get Hikaru to cancel his date and spend the day with me but I couldn’t come up with anything...

“...but with you” I heard the end of Hikaru’s sentence.

“What was that Hikaru? I was daydreaming and didn’t hear what you said.”

“I said dear brother,” his signature devilish smirk seemed to be plastered on his face, “that I don’t really want to go on a date with Haruhi... but with you.”

Now I know that Hikaru is much to close and... Oh! Are those his beautiful lips on mine? They are just as soft as I thought they would be! The kiss was chaste, just lips, no tongue and it was the best kiss I have ever gotten in my life. Just as I started to return the kiss though, he pulled away with a slightly stunned expression on his face.

“I didn’t think that you would return the kiss, we are brothers after all.”

“I don’t care!” I said as I pulled him down for the second kiss which was much rougher than the first. This one was teeth, tongues, and bruised lips. When Hikaru’s tongue tried to gain entrance to my mouth, I couldn’t let it in fast enough. We both knew that he was the dominant one in our relationship.

One of his hands wrapped around to hold onto the back of my neck while the other was slowly making it’s way down my chest. One of his fingers brushed against my nipple and I couldn’t hold back my moan as I tore our mouths apart to gasp for air.

Hikaru didn’t seem bothered that our mouths were no longer connected because his warm mouth made its way down my neck and latched on, leaving a mark for the world to see.

My attention was diverted from his sinful mouth to the hand that now rested on my inner thigh... right next to my steadily hardening dick.

My mind went hazy when he grabbed my dick and began working it through my pants. We were both panting at this point. Me because of the delightful things Hikaru was doing to my body, and Hikaru because he loved the sounds I made.

Every pant, moan, and groan of mine seemed to turn Hikaru on more. Soon I couldn’t take it anymore and I grabbed for the tent in his pants.

It never occured to me that we were doing this in a room, out in the open, with the rest of the host club in... but I couldn’t bring myself to care.

“Oh God!.... Ugh.... Hikaru!” I was getting close, I could tell.

“Kaoru..... Kaoru” Hikaru started moaning my name. “Kaoru... wake up”

Wake up? Why would he be telling me to wake up at a time like this?

“Kaoru, we need to get into position. The customers are coming in soon.”

Hikaru shook me awake as my eyes began to adjust to the light streaming through the window and my brain caught up with what just happened.

My heart broke into thousands of little pieces as I realized that what had just happened was simply a dream.

Of course Hikaru would never look at me that way... He has Haruhi.... why would he need me?

It was during my self loathing that I realized that Hikaru had already walked away and had taken a new spot next to Haruhi. We were supposed to be lying on the floor, facing each other... but he would much rather be closer to Haruhi than his own brother.

I could feel my eyes start to prickle as I fought back tears while gazing upon my brother and his new favorite toy. Hikaru would not be happy to know that’s what I thought of Haruhi... but if I actually think of them as in a relationship.... that would be the end of me.

I turned away from the scene before me to wipe my eyes. As I turned I could have sworn I saw violet eyes looking at me with concern... but when I turned back to see if I was right, the eyes were facing the door waiting for the customers to enter.

****Later that night- At the Hitachiin residence****

“What about this shirt Kaoru? I want something that says ‘I want to be more than friends’ without coming off as desperate. Also, I need to take into account that she is a commoner... I don’t want to offend her with my superior clothes.”

“........”

“Kaoru... what’s wrong? What should I wear?

“.......”

“Why are you always spacing out recently and you have not been your usual Hitachiin self recently. I’m worried about you.”

Oh, you’re worried about me? Really? You have a funny way of showing it by making me help you pick out your date clothes...

“I’m fine Hikaru” I just wish these clothes were for our date and not Haruhi’s date with you. “You should wear the red button up, it matches your hair” 

“Hikaru! That makes me look way too red! You know better than that! Maybe I’ll go with the blue shirt....”

As I watch my brother rummage through his closet I can’t help but feel envious of Haruhi again for the 100th time today. I knew the red shirt would look terrible but I was hoping that Haruhi would think he looked so bad that they would never have a second date.

I knew deep down that would never work because Haruhi is not that shallow and could care less about appearances... I mean, come on! She dresses like a guy for Gods sake...

Anyway.

My eyes locked onto Hikaru’s body. My mouth falls drops and a blush creeps over my face as he walked out our walk-in closet looking drop dead gorgeous. (Granted he always looks fantastic to me... I’m a little biased but that is besides the point)

Hikaru is wearing a tight, form fitting light green top that show off all of his sinewy muscles, and these black jeans that leave nothing to the imagination! I can feel myself getting hard as my eyes slowly make their way down his body towards his.....

WOAH WOAH WOAH! I need to slow down that train of thought right now. And shut your mouth you idiot! You’re drooling over your brother... your TWIN!

I finally manage to tear my eyes away from Hikaru long enough to realize that he has been talking to me and I have not heard him... yet again.

“I’m sorry Hikaru, what were you saying?” I say trying to get that image of him out of my mind while fighting down the blush.

“I said don’t wait up for me brother! I plan on this date ending well into the night.” Hikaru looked so devilishly handsome for someone other than myself and it hurt... a lot more than it should have. And by the sound of it, Hikaru had some good... plans with Haruhi.

“Goodnight Kaoru!” Hikaru yelled over his shoulder and before I could even reply he made his way out the door... out of our world and into another, one that didn’t involve me at his side.

“Goodnight Hikaru” I whispered to no one in particular as I slowly climbed into bed.

I noticed that it was only 7 and I have yet to have dinner yet... but I didn’t feel like eating alone. Mother was in Paris and Father was on one of his month long trips. I figured I would eat tomorrow as a cried myself to sleep over the loss of my one and only love...

Hikaru

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW! That was long but I couldn’t stop myself from typing! I hope those of you reading this are enjoying it. That was also my first try at a smut scene so sorry if it sucked.
> 
> Tell me what you think! I wouldn’t mind some pointers or even some suggestions as to how I can make this better! I accept all criticism as long as your not rude about it. Then I'll tell you to shove it. Anyway, feedback please!


	3. After the Date

Kaoru P.O.V.-

BAM!

The door to our room closes with a loud thud. I glance over at the clock sitting next to my head. 12:48 am....

What the hell was Hikaru doing with Haruhi until fucking 1 am?

“Kaoru! Kaoru! Guess what!” I could see the joy radiating from his eyes and I hadn’t even lifted my head off of my pillow.

“Hiiiiiiikaru... it’s 1 in the morning. Couldn’t this wait until a more reasonable hour?” I knew I was whining but I really didn’t want to hear about his date with Haruhi. I wasn’t that much of a masochist... was I?

“We kissed!”

I was...

“What do you mean ‘you kissed’? It was only the first date! I thought people didn’t kiss until... I don’t know... the 3rd date!” I was desperate at this point... desperate to hear that he was only kidding and she hadn’t stolen my twin’s first kiss.

“Kaoru... don’t be a prude. It was wonderful. We went to one of those commoner theaters to see a movie. The movie was terrible but Haruhi enjoyed it so I don’t really care. And then we went to Enju because....”

“YOU TOOK HER TO ENJU?!?!” I didn’t care that I was practically yelling this early in the morning... all of my tiredness was forgotten as soon as he said he took Haruhi to that kind of restaurant.

“Well duh! If she was going to take me to some commoner place for half of our date I was going to take her to a nice place for dinner. There was no way I would have won her over if we went to some commoner restaurant. Come on Kaoru... you know I like her. I can’t go cheap for Haruhi.”

“She wouldn’t mind if you went cheap. She would probably even prefer it. I bet she was really out of place at Enju...”  
“That’s not true. Ever since she joined the Host Club she has been taught how to act a such places. Anyway! After dinner she wanted to walk around some park by her house so we did. We ended up stopping at a bench and talking for hours! We have so much in common it’s weird...”

I zone out after that last part... ‘so much in common’ my ass! We are TWINS! You can’t get more ‘in common’ than that!

I was so deep in my self loathing that I almost missed the end of this... great.... story.

“And then, get this Kaoru, we are at her door and she stalls going inside! I could tell with the way that she was fiddling with her house keys. So of course I gave Haruhi what she wanted... not that I was going to complain” Hikaru smirks as he gets lost in his thoughts. “And then, that kiss...”

Oh God! I don’t want to hear this.

“The kiss was magical. I swear I could see fireworks. I mean... take one look at Haruhi and what do you see... someone meek and mild mannered right? Wrong! When she wants something she goes for it! I mean...”

“Hikaru! I don’t want to hear anymore! I’m tired and I want to go to bed... If you insist on telling me this story then it can wait until a more reasonable time” I say as I turn over in our bed and face away from my brother.

I really didn’t need to sound so short with him, but if he kept talking there would be no stopping the tears that are only threatening to spill out. I had to turn away or else he would be able to tell from my face that I was barely holding myself together.

“What the hell Kaoru?! What the fuck is up with you lately? I’m trying to tell you that Haruhi and I are dating and you can’t even be happy for me! That’s not how brothers are supposed to act toward each other, let alone twins as close as we are! You know... if you started dating someone I would be happy for you. Not moping like you appear to be doing.”

“I am happy for you Hikaru” I lie through my teeth, “I really am, but I’m tired and it’s late. I promise tomorrow I will be sufficiently happy for you and Haruhi, ok?”

I turn over signaling the end of the conversation and try to fall asleep. I hear Hikaru sigh at the abrupt end to our disagreement and head off towards the bathroom. As I toss and turn in our bed I knew that my night would be plagued by nightmares; either Haruhi would be kissing my twin.... or I would.

Hikaru P.O.V-

What the hell is up with Kaoru recently? I came home from the best night ever and he couldn’t even pretend to be happy for me...

I have to cool down after that small argument with Kaoru so I decide to take a shower before I go to bed. I shed my clothe off as I walk into the bathroom and turn on the water. When the temperature reaches a good point I step in and let the water slide down my hardened body.

I was never self-conscious growing up. I mean why would I be... I have great abs and even though I’m not the most jacked person in the world, I have some pretty muscular arms.

As I begin to wash myself, my mind wanders to the night I had with Haruhi and the fight with Kaoru that followed... 

I thought he would be happy that our world was expanding outside the two of us. I was so sick of no one being able to tell us apart and then Haruhi came along. She barely knew us and yet here she is... telling us apart when no one else can, not even our parents.

It’s actually all thanks to Kaoru that Haruhi and I fell in love. After that “date” when Kaoru was supposed to take her out and I was forced to step in, we kinda bonded. There was no way I could have that be our first date in our relationship so I had to take her out as me asking and not Kaoru.

I wasn’t lying to Kaoru when I told him that kiss with Haruhi was fantastic. She is exactly what I’m looking for in a girlfriend. She is smart, surprisingly funny, and pretty once she actually puts an effort into her appearance.

I wrap up my shower, turn off the water, and put on my pajama bottoms. I’ve never been one to sleep with a shirt unlike Kaoru. Even though we go shirtless many times for the Club, I’ve noticed he hates being shirtless in only my presence.

Especially recently...

There is nothing wrong with Kaoru not wanting to flaunt himself when there is no one around... I shouldn’t be worried. Right?

All this thinking is beginning to give me a headache. I crawl into bed and turn out the light next to my side of the bed.

Hummm, if I’m dating Haruhi... should I get my own room? was the last thought I had before I closed my eyes and dream of Haruhi and I together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness! Poor Kaoru! Don’t worry Kaoru, Hikaru will come around eventually... maybe.... possibly... What’s going to happen when Kaoru finds out Hikaru wants his own room? Will Kaoru find someone to love? Will Haruhi ruin everything that is good between the twins? Ahhhh... Im just kidding, but there will definitely be some angst in this story so be prepared.
> 
> BTW Enju is a real restaurant in Tokyo


	4. Problems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer- ..... still waiting for the day that I own O.H.S.H.C. but it hasn’t happened yet so this is all for fun.
> 
> Warning- This chapter is going to be a little on the RATED M side sooooo... if that isn’t your cup of tea, then why are you reading this? Anyway, to the rest of you lovely people ENJOY!

Kaoru’s P.O.V.-

One month.... one month of dating and I’m already being thrown aside. Am I being punished for Loving my brother?

I’m sitting in my room with only a few candles lit. The flames flicker slightly in their sad attempt to shed light onto the now empty void that was our room.... I’m still not used to saying ‘my’ yet. Hikaru and I have always shared everything; clothes, food, toys, beds... but then she came along and ruined everything.

It was about a week ago that Hikaru finally got up the nerve to tell me he was moving out of our... my... room permanently. Honestly, I was offended that he thought I wouldn’t notice what he was doing beforehand.

He would always wait to go to bed until I fell asleep because he would sneak off to a room across the hall to sleep. He has been slowly moving his clothes out as well. I watched as our room slowly lost all traces of my twin and I was left alone, in now what is my room, crying myself to sleep at the loss of Hikaru.

When Hikaru finally built up the courage to tell me he was moving out of our room, the fight that followed was one of the worse ones we have ever had.

~FLASHBACK~

 

“Well... Kaoru.... You know that I’m dating Haruhi right? Well she... I mean we... feel it’s a little inappropriate for brothers at our age to sleep in the same room, let alone the same bed” Hikaru stumbled over his next sentence “I mean... would you like to sleep in the same bed that you knew Haruhi and I were.... d-doing things... you know, things on before....”

I stood frozen at that last part, shock clearly shown on my face as he brought that up.

I knew that they were dating but it’s only been a month... ONE MONTH and they are already... I stop that last train of thought before I make myself sick.

“Kaoru... say something. I know this is a bit of a shock, but you really should have seen this coming” Hikaru beings to speak a bit more defensively, “You can’t honestly tell me that if you ever got a girlfriend you would still want to share a bed with me!”

I chuckle a little at that last part. Unbeknownst to my twin, that thought never crossed my mind because I never imagined anyone else in my bed but him. Even if it couldn’t be Hikaru, I certainly never would have had a girlfriend in my bed.

At this point I was hoping he had run out of things to say, but apparently I was wrong...

“You have to understand my position Kaoru. Haruhi and I both have needs and I wouldn’t feel right, as your older brother, knowing that I had sex on the same bed that you were sleeping on.”

“Oh don’t fucking lie to me Hikaru! We both knew that you were moving out of weeks now and you dare blame you moving out of our room on Haruhi’s needs. You just want to get some ass from that filthy whore of yours.”

As soon as those words left my mouth, I knew I fucked up.

“WHAT THE HELL!?” Anger was pouring out of every cell in Hikaru’s body and his hands were clenched at his sides, his whole shaking slightly. “Where the FUCK do you get off calling Haruhi a whore!?”

“Hikaru, wait... I didn’t mean it...”

“Like hell you ‘didn’t mean it’! You know I love her, and you still think you can get away with calling her names? I guess I’m happy that she told me to get my own room...”

I knew she suggested it... that bitch.

“Because now I get to see you for what you really are, a terrible, shallow.... Fucking WORSE EXCUSE OF A TWIN EVER!!!”

With those parting words, he slammed the door shut and my world descended into blackness.

~END FLASHBACK~

I was found an hour later on the floor of the room. Turns out that I had passed out from the connection between us severing almost completely... his harsh words having damaged so severally that I can only tell that Hikaru is alive and not his moods or feelings.

We hadn’t spoken to each other since that day, not even in the club.

Kyouya is furious with us for costing the Club so much money. Tamaki is worried that his “family” is having a problem and can’t work it out. Hunny and Mori simply sit off to the side but I can still tell that they too are worried about what is happening between the Hitachiin twins.

The only reaction I can’t say I’m completely surprised about is Haruhi’s. She grins every time she looks at me and latches onto my brother like a leech. She has every right to be happy too because she won the prize...

Hikaru’s heart...

It would have been nice to have a chance at winning Hikaru’s heart but I knew from the beginning that would never happen because....

THUD!!!

What the hell was that?

No sooner had the thought crossed my mind before Hikaru drunkenly fell into my room...

Wait... drunk!? Shit.

“Kaaaaaaaaaoru! Kaaaaaaaaoru... Haruhi and I fought tonight so I drank lots and lots of al-al-alcohol in the limo” Hikaru complained as he stumbled over towards the bed.

Once Hikaru got close enough, he threw himself into my bed and began attempting to take off his date clothes while lying down.

“Hikaru... Your room is across the hall now remember? We don’t sleep together anymore” A shiver runs up my spine and my cock stirs slightly from the mental images produced from my last sentence. “You need to get up and...”  
“We fought over yooooooooou Kaoruuuuuuuu! Hahaha, that rhymes!” He giggled at his joke while I just sat there stupidly with my face was contorted into a look of unfiltered shock.

Why would they fight over me?

I wasn’t even aware of the fact that I had voiced my question until I heard Hikaru answer it.

“Because I don’t like it when your mad at me...”

I can tell that the alcohol is beginning to make him tired when he languidly stretches out on my bed causing a small strip of skin to show right around his navel. My body immediately reacts to Hikaru’s and my cock begins to stiffen at my brother’s defensiveness.

Before I have time to react, however, Hikaru throws his arm over my chest and his legs try to intertwine with mine. I bite on my lip to stop the moan from escaping due the feeling of my loves’ skin on mine.

I turn to tell Hikaru to move because he is crushing me when I notice something.

His face is right next to mine. All I need to do is close the small gap between our mouths and I would be kissing the object of my desire. Instead of doing what my body (and heart) desperately crave, I try to awaken Hikaru so he can leave and I can solve my... growing problem in solitude.

“Hikaru... wake up and go to your room. You know that...”

I lost all train of thought as he slowly opens his eyes and two amber orbs that match my own are staring at me. Our faces are still close, along with our bodies... I am almost afraid to breathe.

I move to slide away when... OH!... Oh my God his tongue!

Hikaru grabbed onto my retreating form and forced his mouth onto mine in a fierce kiss, sufficiently cutting me off from oxygen as his tongue demanded entrance. Needless to say, he didn’t have to demand long.

He tasted like alcohol but with an underlying taste that was uniquely his.

I knew in the back of my mind that this was wrong because he was with Haruhi but all comprehensive thought flew out when Hikaru pushed me until I was flat on my back and began to grind his hardening cock onto my leg like a dog in heat.

I rip my lips away from Hikaru’s and try to collect my thoughts. Hikaru didn’t seem to notice that we were no longer kissing because his lips latched onto my neck and OH GOD!

Hikaru was placing warm, wet kisses in a line along my neck as one of his hands began to unbutton my pajama top. His fingers accidentality brush one of my nipples as an controllable moan rips itself out of me. Hikaru groans against my neck as his head slowly makes it’s way down my body, passing over my stomach and hovering right over my clothed, yet throbbing erection.

My breathing hitched while he made quick work of my bottoms, lifting my legs up and pulling down my pajamas and underwear in one swift go. My eyes were screwed shut, but I still heard Hikaru’s soft chuckle under his breath.

Shit! He thinks I’m ugly! I’m small! He’s never going to have sex with me now!

“You’re leaking... fuck that’s hot!”

Huh? I look down and sure enough, small beads of pre cum are sliding down my cock. I shudder as his hot breath ghosts across my hardness.

I choke on my breath as Hikaru takes me into his mouth, his slick tongue dancing around the head before he swallows me down completely. 

If I didn’t know any better, I would say he’s done this before because no one can give head like this on the first try!

My attention was brought back to Hikaru as he moaned around my cock, the vibration almost causing me to come on the spot... but I wanted, no, needed to hold out. I wanted this moment to last forever.

This moment, where I am the center of my twins’ world.

I notice Hikaru’s movements become less fluid for a split second and I chance a look down.

Hikaru own erection was out of his pants and he was stroking himself with one hand while his other hand kneaded my inner thigh. My breaths became shorter as he began to suck me with more fervor.

I look down when I feel Hikaru smirk around my cock. Our eyes lock and I notice that his normally amber eyes are darkened with a lust I have never seen him have before while he looks at me through hooded eyes.

I was wondering why he had smirked when suddenly I felt a finger brush against the small opening right behind my balls.

That touch were my undoing as I threw my head back a yelled when my climax overcame my body.

“HIKARU!”

“KAORU!”

Of course, like the perfect twins we are, I knew that we had reached our climax together.

As Hikaru swallowed everything I was giving, his seed was coating his hand and the bed with its stickiness.

My breathing slowly calmed and sanity began to enter back into my mind.....

Fuck.... I just... with... 

I risked a peak at my brother, hoping that he wasn’t going to start freaking out in a minute. Turns out I had nothing to worry about.... since he was passed out, drapped over the lower half of my body.

I wince as I try to peel Hikaru off of me. It was a lot harder than I thought it would be and I end up just dumping him off of me and he roughly rolls over to the other side of the bed, noticing that he doesn’t even flinch at my manhandling...

Fucking drunk...

Some of his cum had made its way onto my pants so I am forced to change out of them. As I make my way out of the closet I consider sleeping anywhere but in my bed... Hikaru’s room, the couch, hell... even the floor, because I shouldn’t allow myself to be sucked into his warmth.

But I only end up mentally berating myself while I slowly crawl into bed with my drunken sibling, praying that tomorrow won’t be as bad as I suspected it would be.


	5. Heartbreak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer- Still dont own O.H.S.H.C. This saddens me greatly.
> 
> Since the last chapter was really long, this one will probably be much shorter... BUT it will lead to an important development in the story. So get ready for some heavy angst and some more sad Kaoru. (He was getting a little too happy for my taste) :P

Hikaru’s P.O.V.-

I awoke with a feeling a warmth that I have not felt in such a long time, but I wasn’t complaining... not when I felt complete for the first time in a while. I almost didn’t want to open my eyes.

Sun is streaming through the window as I turn to look over at the clock when I suddenly realize that the feeling of warmth was a body wrapped around my chest.

Kaoru? Why is he in my room?

Suddenly I noticed that I wasn’t in my room at all, but in Kaoru’s instead. We were in his bed and those were his arms bringing me such a good feeling.

I try to remember last nights events, attempting to figure out why we were in this situation in the first place.

There was a date with Haruhi, my head wasn’t into the date because Kaoru and I were fighting... there was the fight that followed... the bar... and then......

SHIT!!!!

Kaoru’s P.O.V.-

I immediately realize that there is no one lying next to me before I even open my eyes... I know this won’t end well.

I crack my eyes open and notice Hikaru is sitting at the edge of the bed as far from me as possible, hunched over with his hands holding his face. I wanted to hold him and get rid of all the worry that was plaguing his mind.... of course, I couldn’t do it after what had happened between us last night. I never thought that one day it would be awkward to just hug my brother...

“Hikaru” I call out softly... almost a whisper.

He tensed immediately. I wanted to see his face so badly because I could always tell what he was thinking by looking into his eyes... not being able to tell what he is thinking is a problem for me I’ve never had to face before. Our bond no longer tells us what the other is feeling.

Finally Hikaru turns around and faces me, his eyes shine with unshed tears.

Oh god he remembers... I was hoping he was too drunk to be able to recall last nights events, that way I could feign ignorance and we could go back to being brothers.

“Kaoru,” he says in such a low manner that I strain to hear him “I am so sorry that I did that to you last night! I... I was drunk and.... and I didn’t know any better! I swear it will never happen again.”

I ignore that last part and try to get him to open up.

“Hikaru, why did you get so drunk last night? I thought you were on a date with Haruhi and I doubt she found drunk you a fun person to be around.”

“We were fighting....”

There was a long pause when I thought he wouldn’t tell me about what they were fighting about. I doubt he remembers that he told me last night what the topic of their argument was.

“We were fighting about you.”

I guess I was wrong

“You mentioned that last night... why were you fighting about me?”

“I hadn’t spoken to you in a week Kaoru! We are twins for gods sake and we hadn’t said two words to each other since our fight and it was killing me on the inside. I was moping and couldn’t stop thinking about you. Haruhi could tell that I wasn’t into our date and she asked what was wrong with me.”

I know it’s wrong of me but I couldn’t help the flutter that went through my stomach when Hikaru said he couldn’t stop thinking about me.

“Haruhi and I started arguing after I told her I was worried about you... She said that you take up too much of my time and that we are old enough to stop depending on each other like we do. I got angry and said that we were twins and were allowed to be close to each other. Apparently that wasn’t the response she wanted so she walked out on our date. I was annoyed at Haruhi and at also a you, and the situation between us, that I just walked into the closest bar and started drinking.”

I was stunned that Hikaru was upset enough over a few disagreements that he would go out and get as drunk as he did.

“And after I made my way back to the house... I honestly don’t know why I came in here. I mean... I was standing outside my door ready to go in and I just didn’t want to be alone. I looked over at your closed door and was angered by the fact it was shut and we were on different sides of it. I felt like we were not close anymore and I wanted to be close to you again. When I got into your room... I didn’t plan on... well... I didn’t plan on that happening.”

A blush starts creeping up his face much like I imagined my face looked when he brought up what happened.

“I just wanted to be close to you again but I fucked up because I was drunk. I just want you to know that that had only happened because I was upset that Haruhi and I fought and I was kinda horny. I never would touch you like that if I was sober.”

“Hikaru... it’s ok...”

“NO IT”S NOT!” He shouted as he interrupted me, “It’s not ok because we are both guys... we’re twins too for fucks sake. It’s wrong and immoral... and... and.... It’s just sick!”

My heart shattered during his rant. My eyes started to tear and heavy sobs were threatening to escape.

Wrong.... immoral.... sick. I knew he would never be ok with what I am.

I decided that Hikaru needed to know how much he was hurting me. I was going to tell him everything no matter how much his response would hurt me.

“Hikaru. I... I need to tell you something... and you are going to hate me for it.”

“Kaoru, what could you possibly say right now that would make me hate you?”

“I’m...” I pause to swallow the bile that is ready to come up any minute.

“I’m gay Hikaru.... and.... and I love you....” 

I hear Hikaru’s unsteady intake of breath as my words sink in. Now the tears are freely streaming down my cheeks as I await his judgment.

“Tell me you’re lying...” he says slightly panicked, jumping up from the bed to glare at me. “TELL ME YOU’RE LYING KAORU!”

“I’m not lying Hikaru. I prefer men and I love you! I have for years! I’m sorry that you don’t like this but”

“It’s sick....” His words cut through me like a knife. “I can’t believe someone like you is in related to me. Don’t talk to me... don’t come near Haruhi and I, and if I find out you told her what happened between us... I’ll kill you.”

He made a quick dash for the door but it didn’t stop me from hearing his parting words...

“You are no brother of mine.... pervert”

My sobs were drowned out by the slamming of my door. I curled up in a ball and cried til I wasn’t able to cry anymore. What seemed like hours later, but was really only a few minutes, I managed to drag myself out of bed.

I made my way into the bathroom and almost began to cry again at the sight of my face. Tear tracks down the side of my face, and puffy, red cheeks. But what scared me the most was my eyes.

My eyes, normally so full of emotion, just looked cold, listless, and empty....

Just like me...


	6. Things Are Looking Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer- Nope... not mine
> 
> Ok, so because Akirak asked so nicely I am going to let Kaoru be ACTUALLY happy in this chapter! Weird I know right?! Anyway, this chapter is going to introduce someone new who is not part of the series but she is very important!
> 
> I am dedicating this chapter to my best fan Akirak and I hope you enjoy it! It will probably be shorter than my other chapters, but if the words come I will continue to make the chapter grow.

Kaoru’s P.O.V.-

Tensions were high in the club for the next few days due to my brother no longer talking to me. I wish we could go back to the time when he was simply ignoring me, because now he is simply avoiding me completely.

Kyouya had to separate us because Hikaru refused to do the act anymore and our clientele was suffering. I could tell that Hikaru never told Haruhi because she hasn’t tried to kill me yet.

It is definitely harder to get customers when we can’t do our act but girls still find us attractive so we get still have enough people where Kyouya wont try anything.

I have to say that Tamaki has been spectacular during this hell I am currently living in. He has tried to make me laugh and I must admit it was very annoying in the beginning. But he is just showing me that someone cares about how I am doing so after a while he managed to wear me down.

I have been spending a lot of club time with Tamaki now but I’m afraid of what’s happening... I think I’m starting to like him. Don’t get me wrong, I still love Hikaru with every fiber of my being.... but I can’t keep waiting for something that is never going to happen.

I mean, I have to admit that Tamaki is hot! His hair is soft, golden, and seems to make a halo around his head when the light hits it just right. His eyes are violet and just seem to draw you into their...

“Kaoru, are you ok? You seem to be spacing out a lot... and sighing much more than usual. Is it because of Hikaru?” a quiet voice asked me.

I looked up and saw my regular, Rima, looking at me with real concern in her eyes. The only other time I had seen that look is in Tamaki’s eyes. She is the only regular scheduled for this time and we are at a table on the far side of the room... far side as far as Hikaru is concerned.

I instantly feel bad for ignoring her because she is one of my favorite customers. She doesn’t treat me like an object that is ment to be marveled, but as a human being and a friend. 

If someone were to ask me my feelings towards Rima, I would say that she is my only friend outside of the club. I don’t have to spend our time together trying to woo her, but instead we have intellectual conversations that make my day so much better. We challenge each other mentally. I have a lot of fun when she shows up.

“I’m fine Rima, I didn’t mean to worry you.”

“Don’t lie to me Kaoru. I know you are still pinning over Hikaru.”

Oh yeah... I forgot to mention she knows my feelings towards my twin.

“Rima, these feelings are not just something I can get over in a week! I have loved him for years and he just shot me down! I was destroyed by his scathing comments... I told you what happened....” I finish softly.

“Kaoru, hun... you need to open your eyes and look around you. Hikaru is never going to accept your feelings and there is someone who will. Don’t get me wrong, I think you and Hikaru look cute together... but there is someone else who is more willing to accept any feelings you have towards them.”

My ears perk up at that last part.

“What do you mean Rima? You know I’m gay right? I can’t return your feelings.”

“Not my feelings you idiot! God, you’re my friend... no, I mean Tamaki’s feelings.”

What?!

“You’re mistaken... there is no way Tamaki likes me like that” I say but there is no conviction in my voice and my cheeks are most definitely pink at this new topic of ours.

“I see the way he looks at you. He likes you, you like him.... ask him out!!!”

I glance over at Tamaki who is sitting fairly close, surrounded by all of his customers. He catches me looking and his face brightens considerably, eyes radiating a warmth and gentleness that I find almost... loving?

I look away before he catches me blushing but it is too late. He excuses himself from his customers for a moment and makes his way towards Rima and I in his normal, flamboyant fashion.

“I don’t mean to be rude and interrupt Kaoru, but I was wondering if you would be willing to...” he stumbles a little over the next part “if you would be... willing to... doyouwanttogoonadatewithme?” His eyes stare at me with an intensity I have never seen in his eyes before, begging me to say yes.

“I told you so” Rima whispers at my side, low enough where only I could hear her.

I couldn’t stop it if I tried. A laugh erupted from my chest, a real laugh with actual feeling behind it.

Tamaki looked mortified and began to turn to walk away. Before he could even take a step I made a grab for him to make him stop. What happened next was an electric shock that raced through my body when I had grabbed his hand. We locked eyes and I let go of him and turned away to hide my blush.

With my head turned from Tamaki I noticed something across the room.

Hikaru was openly glaring at the scene Tamaki had just made and was completely ignoring Haruhi.

I turn my way back to Tamaki, ignoring the butterflies that came from actually looking at Hikaru for the first time in a week.

“I would love to go on a date with you Tamaki.”

His answering smile was enough to shut up the doubts in my head and simply enjoy the feeling of bliss that I haven’t felt in a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaaaay! Happy Kaoru! One more chapter done and still going strong! I know this is shorter than my others but oh well. I have a lot of inspiration for this story and I’m trying to get as much done as possible before I forget anything. Next chapter up soon!


	7. A Different Kind Of Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer- I will definitely own this one day... just not today
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this next chapter, because it’s about to get cliched up in here! Woo hoo! :D
> 
> Warning- There are some derogatory slurs in here about gays. I BY NO MEANS AGREE WITH THESE VIEWS, but it is important to the story. Personally I think people who cant accept gays can rot... but thats just me.

Kaoru’s P.O.V.-

Tamaki was due to pick me up at the mansion for our date later that night. He had told me after I accepted the date that I had to dress casually for tonight. The whether was nice, not too hot and not too cold, so I threw on a pair of cargo shorts and a black graphic tee.

Tamaki arrived around 8 and knocked on the door. I was so excited that I ran to answer the door before any of the servants could. Tamaki stood on the other side of the door looking fantastic in his casual clothes.

Tamaki was wearing shorts that hung low on his waist and a plain red t-shirt that hugged his body quite well.

My face turned scarlet when he reached down, grabbed my hand, and bent down to kiss the back of it.

“Are you ready for our date, mon amour? I hope you brought an apatite because...”

“That’s disgusting... I can’t believe you turned Tamaki into a fag Kaoru.”

I was stunned to see Hikaru descending the stairs just then, eyes boring wholes into my hand intertwined with Tamaki’s, and I was devastated that those were the first words he has said to me in a week.

“What the fuck is your problem Hikaru?” Tamaki jumped to my aid in a heartbeat, drawing me behind himself as to shield me from my brothers spiteful words. Even though Tamaki was yelling at my twin, Hikaru never once took his eyes off me.

“Tamaki, you don’t need to defend that homo behind you. I know that he turned you gay and I can help you. Come out with me tonight, I’ll get Haruhi to grab a friend and you can have a real date with a girl.”

“Hikaru, you are a pig and I can’t believe Haruhi puts up with you, I hope she dumps you on your ass honestly. Now if you will excuse us we will be heading out on our date now” Tamaki turned towards me, putting out his arm for me to grab hold of, “ready mon amour?”

As Tamaki lead me out of the mansion, I risked one last look behind us.

Hikaru’s eyes flashed with so many different emotions in that split second. Hurt, betrayal, anger, and.....

Jealousy?

Hikaru’s P.O.V.-

That fucking bastard Tamaki! Where does he get off talking about Haruhi and I like that?! I was only looking out for him! Trying to distance him from my brother...

I ran upstairs after Tamaki left with.... him and slammed the door to my room shut. I paced and paced for what seemed like hours but I couldn’t get rid of this tenseness in my body.

I knew that Kaoru was going on his date tonight. Word had spread quickly throughout the club today that Tamaki had asked him out. I saw the way that Tamaki beamed when Kaoru said yes, it was sickening to be so excited over a date with a guy. And Kaoru just sat there blushing like some kind of girl... disgusting...

I was going downstairs to eat dinner when Tamaki showed up. Kaoru was waiting by the door for him to show up so he could be the one to answer the door. When Tamaki gave my brothers hand a kiss, white hot anger coursed through my veins for a brief moment. It almost felt like jealousy but that didn’t make any sense so I pushed that feeling aside.

After tossing a few words Kaoru’s way for the first time in a while, Tamaki had to jump in and play hero. I raked my eyes over Kaoru, who was now standing behind Tamaki, and noticed that the shirt he wore was a tad too tight and showed off his arms. He was also wearing the pants clung to his ass just so and...

Where the Fuck did that come from? I just thought of Kaoru like he was hot or something...

Just then my cell rang and I picked it up without looking.

“What?” I said a little too harshly.

“What do you mean ‘WHAT’?” Shit, Haruhi... “You were supposed to pick me up 15 minutes ago... Where are you?”

“I need to cancel tonight. I’m not feeling that well and I need to stay home tonight.” I knew that if she found out I was lying I would be fucked... but I couldn’t stand her presence tonight.

“Fine, but next time fucking call beforehand to cancel. You are making this up to me... don’t forget.” With that final comment she hung up before I could respond.

“Fuck!” I yelled and threw my phone across the room.

I started pacing some more and my mind drifted back to Kaoru’s date.

I don’t understand... he said he has loved me for years and yet he goes on a date with Tamaki. I thought if you have loved someone for that long, you wouldn’t got a date with someone else after a week...

Ok, I need to stop that last train of thought. My feelings have been so screwed up since Kaoru confessed last week. I need to confront him when he gets back tonight... he better not be out too late....

Kaoru’s P.O.V.-

“Tamaki! When can I take this off?” I let Tamaki convince me to let him put a blindfold on me before we got out of the limo.

I have no idea where we are but it’s quiet and no light is filtering through the blindfold. The ground does not feel level beneath my feet and I am constantly tripping over things. I’m assuming that we are outside and... walking uphill if the steady incline is anything to go by.

“We are almost there... just a few more steps.”

“But I’m getting tired Tamaki.”

“Patience, mon amour” his warm breath ghosts over my ear and I can’t suppress the shudder that racks through my body. I hope he didn’t notice.

“Cold Kaoru?” He chuckles under his breath.

He noticed.

Finally he brings us to a halt before I can complain anymore and takes off the blindfold. I gasp at the beautiful sight before me.

Tamaki has set up a small picnic for us on the top of a small cliff overlooking the city. He has a blanket laid out with a picnic basket and candles. It is the most intimate setting I could possibly think of.

Tamaki walks up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist. I freeze for a moment thinking that we were moving too fast, but then I look at the date he has set up for us and I lean into his embrace.

“Look up love” Tamaki says.

Before my eyes are the most stars I have ever seen in my life. The sky is full of stars as far as the eye can see.

Tamaki lets go and I turn around so I can tell him how wonderful this is, but before I can say anything Tamaki is holding a small box in my face.

“Willyoupleaseacceptthisgift?” He races out and I can’t help but chuckle at how cute he is when he is blushing.

“Can you repeat that... and slower this time?”

“Will you please accept this small gift I bought for you?”

I take the box delicately and open the lid. My eyes begin to tear at the small diamond necklace in the shape of a dove.

“I.... I love it Tamaki! Oh my God, thank you! It’s.... It’s absolutely beautiful.”

Tamaki takes the necklace and clasps it around my neck.

“Thank you for accepting the necklace. When I saw it, I knew I had to give it to you. Vos yeux briller comme des diamants et ils sont les plus belles choses que j'ai jamais vu*.”

I am about to ask him what he said when he begins to lower his head towards mine. I knew what was coming... I knew I shouldn’t lead him on when I still have these feelings for Hikaru. And it’s because of that fact that I turned my head away before he could kiss me.

Tamaki looked at me with his eyes wide and hurt dancing across his features.

“If you don’t like me, why would you accept the present?”

“It’s not that I don’t like you Tamaki, I really do but....”

“But your feelings for Hikaru are stopping you.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement.

“How... what... I mean... no, what are you...”

“Kaoru... stop. I knew about your feelings before I asked you out. I wanted to stop seeing you hurting. I wanted to be the one to pull you out of your depression. I want you... and I think you want me too, if only a little. I will take whatever you can give me.”

Tamaki was so passionate during his speech that I couldn’t believe this was the same frivolous guy that was King of the Host Club. He honestly wanted what was best for me. He would do anything for me and I decided right here that I would make myself fall in love with Tamaki no matter what.

“Kiss me Tamaki.”

His eyes widened a fraction and a smile broke out across his face. This time when he leaned down, I would meet him in the middle.

One of his hands came up and cupped my face while the other wrapped around my waist, drawing me closer. My arms went around his neck and we just stayed there for a moment, taking each other in and just looking at the other person in our arms.

Finally, His head came down and I closed my eyes expecting an Earth shattering kiss. What I got was his lips brushing across mine, light as a feather. I moaned at the lack of a proper kiss but I kept my eyes shut.

He chuckled and then dove in again. This kiss was nothing like the first kiss. This was a battle for dominance. Even though I knew that he would win eventually, I still wanted to put up some kind of fight. I gasped when Tamaki started nibbling on my lower lip, which gave him the chance to thrust his tongue into my mouth.

It felt like he was trying to map out every corner in my mouth. His tongue twining around mine as he deepens the kiss further. I let out a muffled moan as his hand begins massaging my neck.

I have to pull back to get some oxygen into my lungs. I know that my cheeks are flushed and I’m short of breath, but Tamaki is much the same so I don’t feel as self conscious. We stare at each other and I knew that if we kept kissing we would never stop, so I say the first thing that pops into my mind.

“Well then, I hope you have something that can cool me down...”

‘Cool me down’?! Am I so stupid I can’t even form sentences? I want to slap myself... I want the Earth to up and swallow me... I want...

“Well I don’t know how much it will cool you down, but I have some lovely pasta salad you can try. I made it myself.”

I could kiss Tamaki for not laughing at my awkwardness, but that wouldn’t get us any father on our date so I opt to just take his hand as he leads me to the blanket. As I sit down, I look out over the city and notice the lights are reflecting off of Tamaki’s hair giving him almost an angelic look.

He might not be a real angel... but he is my personal one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaaaaand cue cheesy closing line! YAAAAAY! Kaoru is happy and Hikaru is confused about his feelings! What could possibly go wrong!?! Will Tamaki get the guy? Will Hikaru come to terms with his feelings? Will Mori actually say something in this story?!?! The suspense is killing me! I hope you guys are not getting too bored with my story. Keep reading please! And review if you can...
> 
> BTW- The french line that Tamaki says is something along the lines of:   
> “Your eyes shine like diamonds and they are the most beautiful things I have ever seen”  
>  At least that is the english I put into the translator and whatever came out is in the story above.


	8. Hikaru's Struggle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHO WANTS JEALOUS HIKARU?!?!?! Ooo! Ooo! I do I do!! Its a grat feeling knowing that when you want something, it will happen :D Enjoy

Kaoru’s P.O.V.-

I was in heaven on the way back from our date and I couldn’t help but replay the date over and over in my head. Tamaki was funny, charming, and surprisingly intellectual. We spent a few hours up on that cliff with no one around, and the stars shinning down on us. We talked about everything and anything, books, tv shows, favorite classes... 

Well, everything except my feelings for Hikaru.

I still couldn’t believe that Tamaki knew that I liked my brother. I thought I was hiding it better but I can’t change that now. I have to admit that I thought once or twice that the date might have been better if I was with Hikaru, but I shoved those thoughts aside as soon as they popped into my head.

We drove back to my mansion in comfortable silence after the date, holding hands the entire way home with a stupid grin plastered on my face.

As we pulled up to the door, Tamaki jumped out of the limo and rounded it fast enough that he opened my car door and held out his hand for me before I could react.

He is such a gentleman!

I grabbed his pre-offered hand and I hauld myself out of the limo. Of course my body chooses now to betray me, and I end up tripping over my feet quickly heading towards the hard ground. Thankfully, two strong arms stop my fall and pull me into a warm body.

“Be carful, mon amour. We don’t want you hurting yourself now, do we?” Tamaki whispers into my ear as his warm breath seems to caress my face.

I look up and are met with two of the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen. We stand there for what seems like hours in each others arm until Tamaki slowly moves his face to mine. We were about to kiss when suddenly...

“KAROU! GET INSIDE NOW!!!”

To say that I’m shocked my brother is yelling at me to get inside is an understatement. Tamaki looks hesitant to let me go inside with Hikaru seemingly on a warpath, but I calm him down with a quick peck on the cheek and a final squeeze to his hands before I head inside to face my brother.

I am barely in the door before Hikaru begins to question me.

“Where the hell were you? It’s 12:30 am!”

“What’s it to you? It’s not like you care what happens to me.” I notice Hikaru has a light blush at that last comment. I make my way up the stairs and head towards my room while continuing this pointless argument with my twin.

“Mother likes it when we are home by midnight.”

That’s bullshit... and I’m definitely gonna call him out on it.

“Don’t pull that shit on me Hikaru, mother could care less if we came back late. She’s not even home most of the time.” Hikaru flushed even darker at that.

“Well, what were you doing out that late anyway? It’s not safe for you...”

“WHAT?! What the fuck is wrong with you Hikaru... You don’t talk to me for a week, you probably wouldn’t have cared if I was lying dead in a ditch somewhere” He flinches at my harsh words, but I don’t care and forge ahead anyway. “I was with Tamaki the whole time, and he would die before he let anything bad happen to me. So I was perfectly safe dear brother... no need to worry your pretty little head over me.”

I couldn’t believe the way my voice sounded during that confrontation... It was bitter and hard. I’ve never talked to my brother that way before, and from the shocked look on his face he wasn’t expecting it either.

“Anyway, I have had a long day and I am tired. Good night.” And with that parting comment, I slammed my door closed with Hikaru on the other side.

He stood outside my door for ten minutes after that. How do I know that? I saw his shadow through the bottom of my door. How did I see his shadow? I never moved away from the door because I was hoping he would knock...

It’s sad but I was hoping he would try to fix the rift between us... because even though he’s homophobic and hates my guts, he’s still my brother. Even though I know he will never accept me, I want so badly to earn his love... I’ll accept any feeling really as long as it’s not this disgust that is thrown at me every day...

I just want my brother back....

Hikaru’s P.O.V.-

I’ve fucked up.

Do you know the feeling you get in your stomach... the one where it feels like it drops to the floor? I felt that when Kaoru shut the door on my face.

I’ve been standing here outside Kaoru’s room for... I don’t know how long... trying to find the courage to knock on his door, and just talk to him rationally. I should have told him what I was thinking when he told me he was gay, when Tamaki came to pick him up... when he was dropped off.....

~FLASHBACK~

I was looking out the window and saw the whole scene. Kaoru looked... happy. They were in one of those embraces that seemed to come straight from our act.

Old act I should say... since you’ve been avoiding him at the club as well as home.

That weird feeling in my stomach when I saw their embrace was just like the one when Tamaki came and picked up Kaoru. Next thing I know, I’m at the door yelling for Kaoru to get inside before I can even think about how stupid of an idea this is.

I knew I was in trouble when I brought up mom, but I was desperate to make it seem like I wasn’t the one who cares since I am supposed to hate him. Then he calls my bluff and all I could think was ‘shit’. I feel like an idiot for trying to pull the parent card. We both know our parents are absent from our lives.

It was that last tone he used though- that cold, harsh tone- that made me realize I had pushed my brother too far away. He had never used that tone with me before, and I found out quickly that I didn’t like it. This tone makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up and my stomach to clench tightly...almost like I am going to be sick.

Before I can even respond, Kaoru has shut the door on my face, effectively cutting off my next defence.

~END FLASHBACK~

So here I am... however long later, wishing I wasn’t a wimp.

I finally turn to walk towards my room and change in the dark. As I climb into bed, I reflect on these new feelings I have. It’s too late to tell Kaoru these feelings, but at least I can be honest with myself.

I’m jealous. I’m jealous that Tamaki is taking my brother from me.

He can’t take what was never yours... You rejected him remember. You could have had him all to yourself and you fucked it up.

Great... now even the voices in my head are against me.

I huff and turn over, wishing I had fixed things with Kaoru before I tried to go to bed tonight. I could never sleep well knowing that Kaoru was upset at me and my sleep was suffering greatly over the last week.

I had already admitted to myself that I was jealous that Tamaki was taking my twin from me... what else could I possibly want from Kaoru?

A lover.....


	9. Feelings

Hikaru’s P.O.V.-

I’m glaring.

I know I’m glaring and I can’t help it, they just keep touching. It’s not sensual touching by any means, just casual, innocent touches.

And it irritates the Hell out of me.

Slightly grazing his arm with a hand. A hand at the small of his back. And worst is when he leans in and whispers quietly into his ear.

And Kaoru never tells Tamaki to stop... oh no. Instead he leans into those touches, laughs at the sweet nothings whispered in his ear. That used to be me doing those things to him... but I guess I lost that right when I ruined our bond.

Tamaki and Kaoru take customers together sometimes and I can’t make this.... this jealous feeling go away. I guess this is what Kaoru was feeling when I started taking customers with Haruhi.

When word got out that Haruhi and I were dating, girls couldn’t get enough of us as a couple so they would request the both of us together. Kyouya was ok with that since it got us more money. But now.... now that Tamaki and Kaoru are dating, they wont shut up about ‘how cute of a couple they make’.

 

And that is why I’m glaring right now.

One of Kaoru’s regulars- Mima... Lina... something like that- has requested both of them today and Kaoru can’t stop looking happy, like he doesn’t need me anymore to make him smile. I can’t take the jealousy anymore and I get up to go talk to Kaoru.

“Where do you think you’re going?” a voice cuts me out of my thoughts.

“Bathroom Haruhi, I’ll be right back” I don’t even glance down as I keep my eyes firmly locked onto my brother.

“Fine, but you better make it quick dear” sarcasm is dripping from her voice, “we have guests don’t forget.”

I don’t even bother to respond- or to pretend to go to the bathroom for that matter- I just head straight over to Kaoru.

“Kaoru, can I see you for a minute?”

“Hikaru... can’t you see I’m....”

“Now! I mean... please? It’s important.”

“Ok, fine. I’ll be back in a second Rima.”

Right, Rima. I forgot her name.

Kaoru gives Tamaki a kiss on the cheek and begins to walk to a secluded corner of the room. I wince slightly at the kiss that Kaoru gives Tamaki and the shock of how much I screwed up hits me like a ton of bricks. I’m disturbed by the image of Kaoru kissing my cheek that pops into my head.

Not by that image per say... but the fact that the scene changes slightly he goes from my cheek to my neck and he begins to kiss and suck on it, leaving me moaning, panting and reaching for him. Wanting more, wanting him, wanting....

“Well Hikaru? You got me over here... now what do you want?”

I can’t think of anything to say as I try to collect my thoughts and get that image of Kaoru out of my mind... that image of him compliant and panting under my expert fingers and...

What the HELL is wrong with me?! I can’t stop thinking about Kaoru in a... more than brotherly way! I need to just ask him what I wanted to ask him and get back to Haruhi, back to normalcy.

He is looking at me with slight distain in his eyes and I’ve never seen him look at me like that. I feel a minor blush creep up my face as I finally get the nerve to talk to my estranged twin.

“That guest of yours requested the both of you today.... why?”

The look Kaoru gives me is one of shock and confusion. I don’t blame him either... I sounded like an idiot even to myself.

“Why do you care? You know what, don’t answer that. I’ll humor you because it will get me out of here faster and I can get back to Tamaki and Rima. Rima is a good friend, maybe even my only friend, and I want her approval of who I am dating. I know it’s dumb because I know she already likes him, but I think it’s important for people I care about to hang out with my friends. Now, if you are quite done asking me stupid questions I must head back now.”

And with that, Kaoru turned and walked away, leaving me with an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach as I walked back to Haruhi with only one thought on my mind.

How much does he care about Tamaki?

Kaoru’s P.O.V.-

I make my way back to my section and sit down next to Tamaki, with Rima and him chatting away amicably. It makes me happy that they get along so well, I hadn’t lied to Hikaru about that.

Thinking about Hikaru makes me steal a quick glance to where Haruhi and him now sit together to take guests. Hikaru was slowly making his way back with a look of... loneliness? Loss? Those feelings don’t look good on my brother, and I want go over and hug him just so he stops looking so dejected... but I can’t. He would probably hit me if I went anywhere near him.

He looks up then and our eyes meet for a split second and the look that Hikaru gives me almost knocks me off my feet.

Longing

I shudder and tare my eyes away before my delusional mind can mess with my emotions anymore. I look over at Haruhi and there is no mistaking the anger that is radiating off her towards my twin.

I finally realize that Tamaki was speaking to me and I turn so I can focus on what he is saying to me.

“I’m sorry Tamaki. Can you repeat that?”

“I have another guest asking for me so I must leave mon amour. Would you like to come over later? After the club that is?”

“I would love to! I will talk to you later, ok?”

With that, Tamaki gives me a quick kiss on the lips and walks off to greet his guest. Of course all eyes were in us as he kissed me a chorus of fan girls began to scream when he did. I did notice that Hikaru looked like he was going to be sick, but that was probably because he hates everything about me now.

Then why is he acting so protective of you? Why is he so concerned about you both being requested?

I push those thoughts aside as Rima begins to talk to me.

“So...What did Hikaru want with you? He came back looking pretty beaten down if you ask me. You must have put him in his place.”

“I... uh... I told him that... that I care about Tamaki....”

“That’s it? You told him that you care about.... ooooooh! I get it now.”

“Get what? Rima! Tell me what you get!”

“Don’t you see Kaoru? He’s jealous! He looked hurt when he came back because you told him you like someone else! You told me that when you came back from your date Hikaru was being totally weird. It’s because he realized his feelings for you and is being really possessive.”

I couldn’t wrap my mind around what she was saying. Hikaru loves me? Loves me like I love him? It doesn’t work like that! He can’t just start liking me just because I told him I liked him and I’m dating someone else because he said no!

But still....

This is what I’ve wanted right? I wanted Hikaru to love me. I wanted to be the center of his world and now that I apparently have it, I don’t know what to do with it.

“Rima. I still love Hikaru, that is never going to change... but I don’t want to hurt Tamaki’s feelings. I know he likes me and I am starting to really like him.”

“Well then... what are you gonna do?”


	10. The Pond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note, this chapter takes place the same day as chapter 9, but right after the club.
> 
> Also, fluff fluff fluff fluff fluff fluff fluff fluff fluff fluff

Kaoru’s P.O.V.-

I went home after the Host Club ended alone. Haruhi made Hikaru stay behind to talk about something important apparently. Hikaru looked pained to have to stay with Haruhi, but I feel like I don’t know anything about their relationship anymore.

I was doing some homework in my room for about an hour when a small knock came from my door, almost too soft to hear.

“Kaoru” Hikaru’s voice was quiet, almost hesitant. Like he didn’t want me to answer.

To say I was shocked that my brother sought me out in my room would be an understatement. Even though he has been acknowledging my presence more often than before, he has never sought me out in my room.

“It’s ok Hikaru, you can come in.” The sight that met my eyes when he walked in was a surprising one to say the least.

Hikaru had clearly been crying if his red, swollen eyes were anything to go by. His left cheek was red, almost like he had been slapped. Tear tracks are still staining his face.

I’m up immediately and heading towards the door before he can say anything to me. I stand an arms length away from my brother and regard him with worry heavily lacing my voice.

“What happened Hikaru? Why are you so upset? Where is Haruhi?”

I bombard my twin with too many questions and the fear I see in his eyes is steadily rising. He looks like he is going to bolt any minute.

“I... ah, sorry Kaoru... You were busy... and I, uh, I shouldn’t have disturbed you. I’m... gonna.... um, I’m gonna go. Sorry” Hikaru turned to run but I couldn’t let him leave like that so I did the first thing that came to my mind.

I reached for him before he could leave and somehow managed to grab his hand as he turned away. As soon as our hands touched, an electric jolt ran from our connecting skin throughout my body, sending a shiver down my spine and making my breath a little bit shallower.

I let go like I had been shocked, which I guess I had been, and risked a glance at my twin, seeing if he had felt what I had felt. I was speechless when I saw a faint blush across my brothers cheeks and slightly dilated eyes, making him look almost.... hungry.

“Um. Please come in Hikaru. We don’t have to talk if you want but,” I stumbled over what to say next to get him to stay with me, “But if you want, we can get you cleaned up a bit and take a walk around the pond.”

Once I saw Hikaru smirk slightly at my suggestion, I knew that he would take me up on my offer. That pond was our favorite place to hang out at as children. It was on our property, still in view of the mansion, but far enough away that we can feel separate from it. We used to play for hours around the pond... back when it was simpler between us.

“I’d love to do that Kaoru. Can I just use your bathroom real fast before we head out? I want to change out of my uniform.”

I nod and he makes his way to the bathroom, brushing against me to get by and another shiver racks through my body.

It takes him about 10 minutes to get out of my bathroom, but when he does, he looks refreshed and one hundred times calmer than when he first knocked on my door. We make our way to the pond in a comfortable silence, the first one we have shared in a long time.

After a few laps around the pond without either of us saying something we sat down at a bench that we had by the edge. I waited for Hikaru to say something, anything really, but I was content to just being in his presence after so long. As I knew he would, Hikaru eventually started opening up.

“Haruhi dumped me today.”

Ok... that I was not expecting.

“Did she tell you why?”

“Well that’s just it! She tells me that we aren’t talking anymore and that I seem distant. Apparently she got sick of carrying the weight of our relationship on her shoulders and she said we were through.”

“I’m sorry. Um... not to pry or anything, but it looked like you got slapped when you showed up earlier. If, ah.... if she broke up with you why did she slap you?”

Hikaru grimaced slightly and touched his cheek where he was slapped.

“After she broke up with me... she asked me why I wasn’t into our relationship anymore. I told her the truth... I,” he glanced at me quickly before turning away, a small blush creeping up his face, “I said I didn’t love her anymore... so she slapped me and left.”

He what? He doesn’t love her anymore?! But.... they were so happy. Wait. Something doesn’t add up....

“If you didn’t love her... then why were you crying when you came home? If you don’t have feelings for her, then it shouldn’t have hurt you that much when she left.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But why? Why were you...”

“STOP ASKING ME!” Hikaru yelled with tears beginning to form in his eyes.

We sat in an uncomfortable silence after that as the sun began to set over the tree line. I was almost ready to leave when a small sob caught my attention. I turn to Hikaru ready to comfort him but he shrugs off my hand and looks me square in the eyes with tears now steadily falling down his face.

“Y-you really want t-to know why I was cr-cr-crying?” The sobs were making it harder for me to understand him, so he tries to compose himself before continuing. I can tell that he desperately want to cry but he pulls himself together to get the rest of his story out.

“I was crying because I realized that I never really lo-loved her. I thought I did and I ruined the one relationship that ment the most to me in the entire world. I singlehandedly destroyed the bond that we had over someone that... that I thought I loved more than you. She was the only one ever able to tell us apart and I mistook fascination with love. For that I will forever be sorry. I will never be able to forgive myself because I hurt you.... I hurt you so deeply over the last few weeks. I know I hurt you more than you let on and I’m so sorry. I’m happy that Tamaki was there for you because... because I wasn’t. I wish I was a better twin. You deserve a twin that accepts you for who you are and not ignore you for weeks. I’m sorry it took me so long to figure out that I am a horrible brother. I wish... I wish things could go back to the way things were but... but I know it’s too late for that. I promise Kaoru, that no matter how long it takes, I will earn your respect and love again.”

The tears had come back during his speech. I can honestly say that is the most I have ever heard Hikaru say at one time and I am touched by everything he has said. He has clearly thought a lot about this and I can tell his feelings are sincere.

“I believe you Hikaru. I know you are sorry and that’s something I never thought you would say to me. I wouldn’t mind starting over if you don’t.”

We face each other and I offer Hikaru my hand. Gratitude flits across his features as he reaches for my hand. As our skin touches, that same spark of want shoots through my body and my gaze snaps to Hikaru’s. His eyes are dilated and he has not released my hand yet.

The sun is setting and the orange glow is reflecting off of his face and hair, making his appear to glow. My gaze drops to his lips... his lips that look so red and puffy and... kissable.

I don’t realize I’m staring until Hikaru licks his lips and coughs to get my attention. Our hands are still grasped in each others, and I have moved much closer to Hikaru than is acceptable.

I stand up suddenly, trying to get any form of distance between my twin and I when my arm is suddenly pulled and- oh!

Hikaru’s P.O.V.-

Ask me why I did it and I will never know, but Kaoru was going to leave and I couldn’t let that happen so I... I kissed him.

Well... not really kissed. More like I am kissing him, ravaging his mouth with my own trying to push down these feelings that have been awakened in me and failing miserably.

The first thing I notice when our lips meet is warmth. Kaoru’s mouth is warm and soft... opening instantly to my ministration. Our tongues meet and jolts of pleasure rack through my body. I grab the sides of his head and force our kiss to deepen. Kaoru’s are staying limply by his side, and that fact makes me want to make him loose his control. I want him tearing at my clothes, grabbing my body, desperate for more contact.

I want him.

I break our lips apart because it was becoming increasingly difficult to breathe. I didn’t want to let up though, so I continued down his jaw and neck until I found his collarbone and began to kiss and suck on the skin there, leaving a lovely bruise. Kaoru is moaning in earnest right now and his sounds are making my pants increasingly tight.

His hands finally moved. I was so worried that they would push me away, that I was pleasantly surprised when they wrapped around my neck and Kaoru began to moan my name. The fact that I was doing this to Kaoru, my brother, my twin, never crossed my mind. All I could think about was him... and this love that I was feeling for him.

This is where I should be. With Kaoru. In his arms. Forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I am sooooo mean for leaving it like that but OH WELL! Cliffy!!!!
> 
> Tune in next time to see how far this goes! Did Kaoru for get about Tamaki? (Don’t worry, I didn’t ;D) Does Tamaki get thrown to the side like last weeks cassarol? Does Haruhi have any surprises for anyone? WILL WE EVER FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO MORI AND HUNNY?!?!
> 
> The answer is I will answer all of these questions eventually! I hope you enjoyed this latest chapter!


	11. The Day After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know where I want to go with this story but I don’t want it to seem rushed. The problem with that is I am probably dragging it out too much now... Ugh! By the way, just because our two favorite boys kissed does not mean they are immediately getting together. Hikaru put Kaoru through a lot of shit (my fault, I know ;) ) and he is not going to replace Tamaki right away.
> 
> Trust me... there will be more angst! Yaaaaaaay angst!
> 
> Warning- M/M in this part, not all the way but there is still M/M sexual acts. Don’t like? Then why the fuck are you reading this fanfic?

Kaoru’s P.O.V.-

Shit! I can’t believe I kissed Hikaru last night! What am I going to tell Tamaki? I need to tell him... If he finds out from anyone else... I don’t want to hurt him like that.

After Hikaru and I had our intense make out session last night, I knew I had to set things straight with him. No matter how much I still love him... I can’t hurt Tamaki like this.

*FLASHBACK*

My arms go around the back of his neck as his tongue is thrusting into my mouth, coaxing my tongue into a filthy dance. I can’t think, I can barely breathe. I can feel though, and all I can feel is Hikaru’s warmth penetrating my clothes.

I know I need to stop what we are doing but I have wanted Hikaru for so long that I can’t seem to help myself. I’m drawn to him like a moth to a flame.

One of Hikaru’s hands finds its way to may hair while the other goes to the small of my back. Our kiss is getting rougher and I am quickly losing the ability to breathe. His tongue is massaging the inside of my mouth and I’m losing myself in the pleasure of our kiss. My knees weaken and Hikaru is practically holding me up at this point.

“Young Masters! Dinner is ready!”

We pull apart quickly, and to my delight I notice a strand of saliva on my twins lip that he absentmindedly licked away.

We turn towards the approaching twin maids at the same time, trying to calm our ragged breathing.

“Young masters, we have been looking everywhere for you. Dinner is ready and being served as we speak. You must head back now.”

A quick glance at Hikaru and I feel myself blushing anew, just remembering the feel of his lips on mine, his tongue dominating my mouth... his hands....

Ok! Stop brain, time to go!

I risk one more glance at Hikaru and all but run into the mansion just wanting any space between me and my twin.

*END FLASHBACK*

I cant believe I did that! I cheated on Tamaki with my twin... who I guess no longer finds the idea of being with a man repulsive if that kiss was anything to go by... I cant even being to understand Hikaru and all the mixed signals he gives me.

I’m pacing around my room waiting for the car to show up so Hikaru and I can head to school.

Speaking of Hikaru, I haven’t seen him since dinner last night... well, that was my fault, BUT STILL! How am I supposed to act around him!?

After a quiet and very awkward dinner with Hikaru I locked myself in my room for the rest of the night, refusing to see anyone while I tried to sort out my feelings for my twin. I was happy that he tried to talk to me for a while. Granted, he did grow tired of trying to talk through a door.

He said we needed to talk about the kiss and that there was no way he was having this conversation through a door, and that when I was ready I could find him.

Needless to say, last night did not provide me with much sleep.

I am pulled from my thoughts when one of our maids knocked on my door to inform me that the car had arrived. I thanked her and left my room only to come face to face with Hikaru, almost bumping right into him. I take a big step back, but not before smelling his shampoo and the smell that is distinctly Hikaru.

He opens his mouth to speak, probably to talk about the kiss, but I am in no mood to talk about that event this morning.

“Don’t say anything,” Hikaru’s mouth closes instantly. “I do not want to talk about what happened last night right now. I love you Hikaru, but you had no right to kiss me when I am in a relationship with Tamaki. I feel terrible knowing that I have to tell Tamaki about our kiss... This is going to crush him. And I will NOT come crawling into your arms just because you finally realize your feelings for me. You hurt me for weeks with your attitude towards me and that can not be forgotten by one simple (However mind blowing) kiss!”

As my rant came to a close I noticed most of the color left Hikaru’s face and that the light had gone out in his eyes. He took a deep breath before he addressed me.

“I know Kaoru. I know that I am a selfish, spineless, terrible excuse for a twin.... but I love... promise...” He took another calming breath before continuing. “I promise, that I will earn your love.”

And with that, Hikaru turned and started walking towards the stairs to get to the car. I stood there stunned for a moment, just remembering the sheer look of determination in his eyes as he proclaimed his love and intentions towards me. I shook my head as though I was trying to clear it and followed my brother towards the car.

Tamaki’s P.O.V.-

Something was wrong with Kaoru... and I know it had something to do with Hikaru.

Kaoru had been avoiding me the entire day. Every time I caught his eye he would get a terrified.... and guilty.... look in his eyes and run away. I don’t know why he looks guilty and I can’t for the life of me begin to guess what could have happened yesterday that could make him avoid me today. We were getting along really well...

I turn to look down the hallway to find Hikaru glaring at me... but that isn’t really different from how he normally looks at me. Good to know some things haven’t changed.

If Kaoru thinks he can avoid me forever he is going to find out that he is sadly mistaken. I am going to find out what is wrong with him.

Kaoru’s P.O.V.-

Somehow I have managed to avoid Tamaki all day, now all I need to do is make it through the club and I have survived the first day with this soul-eating guilt gnawing away at my insides.

God... that’s a depressing thought.

My companion stops her conversation suddenly and looks over my shoulder at our intruder. I turn knowing exactly who is standing behind me.

Seems you cant hide forever....

“Why hello Tamaki! How are you doing since we last saw each other yesterday?” Rima asks with a smile on her face.

“Hello Rima, I am doing fine thanks for asking. I was wondering if you would allow me to steal Kaoru away for a short while?” Before Rima can respond, I address Tamaki.

“Now is not the best time Tamaki. We can talk after the club is over.” Tamaki gives me a skeptical look but I press on. “I promise Tamaki. We need to talk later but now is not a good time, so if you will excuse me I have a guest to entertain.” With that I turn towards Rima and refuse to look back. My shoulders finally relax when his shadow no longer hovers over me.

Rima is looking at me calculatedly, as if she was trying to read my mind. I turn my head and blush at her intense scrutiny, hoping that she will simply let the matter drop..... but this is Rima we’re talking about, and she will never let this rest.

“So who did you cheat on Tamaki with?”

Her blunt question has me choking on my tea which I had unfortunately picked up to distract myself from her gaze. I end up gasping for air with a terrified look on my face as I look at Rima.

OH MY GOD! If Rima can tell that I cheated, then Tamaki must know as well! I’m screwed! I can’t believe that I was that transparent that she could look at one interaction between me and Tamaki and just KNOW! OH MY GOD! Kill me!

I am snapped out of my self loathing by a slap on the face from Rima.

“Babe, calm down! You started hyperventilating and wheezing and I was getting freaked out.”

I take a few more minutes to compose myself before I can even consider talking.

“Thanks for that. I just cant believe that it is so easy to tell that I.... cheated..... on Tamaki.”

“It’s not that obvious to anyone that doesn’t know you that well, but we have been hanging out a lot for the last week and I can pretty much read you like and open book.”

I breathe a little easier knowing that the entire school isn’t talking about me behind my back.

“So..... who did you cheat with!? I need to know these things! I mean, first you got Hikaru jealous with Tamaki, now you are going to get both of them jealous with this new guy! So who is it!”

“Well... ummm Rima... the thing is uh... the thing is.....” the rest of my sentence is too low even for my ears to pick up on.

“Kaoru, I can’t hear you! Who is it! Who is the guy that’s going to have to fight with Tamaki and Hikaru for your love?”

“IT’S NO ONE NEW!” My shout grabs the attention of almost everyone in the room but I blush and look away from the crowd at my puzzled friend.

“But... I don’t get it. If it’s no one new then...” If the situation wasn’t so sickening for me then I might have laughed at how comically wide her eyes got when she finally connected the dots.

“You have got to be shitting me! IT”S HIKARU!?” I quickly jump up from my seat and put my hand over her mouth to stop her rant. I know that if Kyouya could see me now he would have my head for acting this way towards a customer, but I needed a quick way to shut her up before my secret is known by everyone.

“If you promise not to yell I will remove my hand and tell you everything.”

The only response I got was a glare, but she looked like she wasn’t going to yell anymore so I let her go and sat back down in my seat.

“You have five minutes to tell me everything,” the ‘if looks could kill’ cliche described her glare perfectly. “Five minutes. Or else I go get Tamaki and Hikaru over here and we all figure this dilemma out together.”

I don’t know if it was the look in her eyes, her tone of voice, or simply the guilt, but I quickly found myself telling her everything that happened after the Host Club ended yesterday. Rima sat in silence, listening intently to the retelling of what had happened the previous day. Her nostrils flared when I got to the part about the kiss with Hikaru but she remained silent until the end.

We sat there for who knows how long, me trying to calm myself from the resurfacing emotions, and Rima just digesting everything I had just told her. Finally she spoke.

“So... what are you going to do?”

“Honestly Rima, I have to tell Tamaki about what happened between Hikaru and I. Hopefully he wont react too negatively, I mean, he already knows about my feelings for Hikaru.... unless Tamaki thinks Hikaru is just stringing me along. Hikaru was acting aggressively leading up to our kiss. Tamaki might try to look out for me... or he will turn his back on me and never talk to me again!”

Rima grabs my arm to stop my babbling.

“Ok, I said that wrong. I meant, if you can have either who would you choose?”

I.... I don’t know.... I know they both have a place in my heart.... but I don’t know who to give it too...


	12. Heart to Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continues exactly where the last one left off

Hikaru’s P.O.V.- 

Kaoru is going to tell Tamaki what happened, I can tell. He has been avoiding Tamaki all day and its obvious that he is not happy with being ignored.

I’m sitting at my section alone, waiting for my next customer to show up. Ever since Haruhi and I split we obviously no longer took anyone together, which Kyouya has loved pointing out hurts sales. He told me in not so many words that I had a week to patch things up with Kaoru or I would be getting a visit from his families police force....

Well... he actually told me I had three days but I managed to convince him to give me a week. The only way I could do that was to remind him that with... with Tamaki and Kaoru together, they were raking in a lot more cash for the club.

At the mention of the “happy couple” I noticed Kyouya’s dark aura started to seep through as he stole a quick glance towards none other than the blond headed King before the mask came back on.

Hmmm... maybe Kyouya might be useful if the need arises. I’m not stupid enough to bring it up now, but this information can come in handy later.

I’m pulled from my thoughts by movement out of the corner of my eye. I look up expecting my next customer but I only see Tamaki walking towards my twin with a determined look in his eye.

I watch their interaction with rapt attention, noting everything from body language to facial expressions. I really wish I was better at reading lips, but I can only work with what I have...

I can tell that whatever Kaoru said has not appeased Tamaki if the skeptical look he has is anything to go by. Kaoru presses on and I can tell that he is asking to meet up with Tamaki later, probably to spill the beans about what we did.

I watch Tamaki agree to the meeting and walk back towards his section, leaving Kaoru with his regular Rima. The two of them seem to settle into what appears to be a one sided talk with Rima pressing Kaoru for answers.

I take this momentary calm to survey the room. Hunny and Mori are sitting at their table with three girls, eating cakes while Hunny sits there living up to his boy-lolita reputation. I notice Haruhi still throws some glares my way while she entertains her customers, but we no longer talk to each other unless it is for Club business. Kyouya is standing by the wall, eyes fixated on the clipboard that seems to be permanently glued to his hands. Occasionally he glances across the room at a certain blond King, whose own attention is fixated upon the new object of my desire...

“IT’S HIKARU!?”

Hearing my name shouted and muffled in quick succession has me turning in the direction that I heard the shout coming from. I didn’t recognize the voice that shouted my name, however... seeing Kaoru with his hand firmly over Rima’s mouth is telling me that she probably yelled it.

I guess he’s needed someone to talk to these last couple weeks since I haven’t exactly been making his life easy.

Due to their hushed tones I knew I wasn’t going to get anything more from their conversation. Suddenly I got an idea, forcing me to jump up from my seat and begin making my way towards my target.

“Kyouya. We need to talk.”

**** Later that afternoon ****

Kaoru’s P.O.V.-

It’s after club activities and everyone has gone back to their mansions.... well, everyone except Tamaki and I.

An awkward silence has fallen between us, neither of us having the courage to break it. I know Tamaki just wants to know why I have been acting weird today... but the guilt of what I did, and what I feel, is eating me alive.

“Kaoru....” Tamaki’s voice is quiet and gentle with a hint of underlying apprehension, “If you are going to break up with me... can you at least tell me what I did wrong to make you hate me?”

His question felt like a slap in the face.

How could he think I want to break up with him? He has been amazing! Without him... I doubt I would have made it through the whole Hikaru ordeal.

I know I need to put his mind at rest... but I know what I am about to tell him is going to be any better than what he is already thinking.

“I don’t want to break up with you, you’re amazing.... but after what I tell you... once I tell you what I need to tell you... You’re the one who is going to want to break up with me.” Tamaki looked confused at my last statement.

“What are you talking about? We were fine yesterday, what happened last night that you think I am going to break up with you?”

Here it is... the moment where the last good thing in my life leaves. I guess I could just tell him the whole story so I wont have to repeat myself.

“Last night I was in my room when Hikaru showed up crying, saying that Haruhi broke up with him.” I pause, trying to come up with the best way to continue the story. However, Tamaki is quick to grow restless.

“What does them breaking up have to do with your mood today?”

“I wanted to comfort Hika... even though I’m in a relationship with you....”

“You still love him....” Tamaki sounded so broken at that moment that I just wanted to reach out and comfort him, but I knew that would be inappropriate until we had this sorted out.

“Anyway,” I take a deep breath before continuing, “We decided to take a walk around the pond behind the mansion and... and...”

I decided to just rip the band aid off at once

“And we kissed.”

The quiet that followed was deafening. Our breathing was the only sound that could be heard. Tamaki was just staring at the ground, refusing to meet my eye. I wasn’t going to force him into telling me what he was thinking, I mean... I did drop a pretty big bombshell on him.

“So you are here to break up with me...”

“What?”

Tamaki finally looked up, and the anger that met my eyes was frightening. His voice when he addressed me was hard and cold.

“You finally got what you wanted didn’t you?! You were just stringing me along to get him jealous right?! You didn’t care that I might have real feelings towards you! You only cared about Hikaru. Hikaru Hikaru Hikaru!” Tamaki is practically yelling at me, but what he is saying is causing me to grow defensive.

“Wait a damn minute! You knew that I loved Hikaru! You said you knew on our first date and that you were ok with whatever I could give you! Don’t you dare act like I was stringing you along!”

I was furious by this point. I knew something like this would happen if I told him... but for him to discredit everything we had shared! I know we weren’t together that long... but his words cut me deep. I was heading towards the door, heading away from Tamaki and the cold eyes that I knew would meet my gaze if I bothered to look back.

I was at the door ready to storm out, I could tell that Tamaki hadn’t followed me... hadn’t tried to make me stay so we could try and sort this out.

Just before I walked out the door, I stoped to address Tamaki one last time. When I spoke, my voice was just loud enough for him to hear.

“And here I was... thinking I could fall in love with you.”

With that I walked out the door, into my own personal hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOOOO!!! CLIFFY!!! So this chapter was going to be like, 5 times longer cause I know where I want this story to go, but this seemed like a good place to stop! I am really excited to hear some reactions to this chapter!
> 
> Who will win the battle for Kaoru’s heart? What does Hikaru need from Kyouya? Who was happy to see Mori and Hunny!? Personally I was, but that could just be me. :D
> 
> Thanks for reading and I will post another chapter soon!


	13. Talking It Out

Kaoru’s P.O.V.-

Darkness envelops my room as night quickly approaches. I never bothered to turn the lights on when I got back from the club. It’s not even 8 o’clock, but as soon as I got back from my fight with Tamaki I threw myself on my bed, praying for the darkness to take me.

****FLASHBACK****

Just before I walked out the door, I stoped to address Tamaki one last time. When I spoke, my voice was just loud enough for him to hear.

“And here I was... thinking I could fall in love with you.”

With that I walked out the door, into my own personal hell.

As soon as I shut the door to the club room the tears started to flow. I called the driver to come and pick me up, seeing as Hikaru took the limo home first. Luckily, the driver was smart enough not to comment on my tears as he drove me home

As soon as I entered the house I bolted for my room. I was just about to shut myself in my room when I noticed Hikaru’s room across the hall. The door was open and lights were out, meaning he wasn’t in his room... but he wasn’t anywhere else in the mansion he would go to right after school. He always went to his room...

Where is he? More importantly, who is he with? Wait! Stop that right now... he’s not mine to control so he doesn’t need to tell me where he’s going.

Is he with Haruhi?

I couldn’t stop that last thought popping into my head even if I wanted to. I know they broke up and I know he said that he wanted me, but maybe our kiss freaked him out more than I thought. Maybe he went back to her.

All these dark thoughts on top of the fight I had with Tamaki made the gut wrenching sobs come full force as I slammed my door shut, effectively cutting me off from the outside world.

****END FLASHBACK****

A knock on my door pulls me out of my thoughts.

“Master Kaoru, Master Tamaki is here to see you. He says it is urgent and he wont leave until you see him.”

Ugh. He hasn’t yelled at me enough today?

“You can let him in,” I try to pull myself together before he can see the state I’m in.

“Kaoru, why are the lights off?”

“NO WAIT!”

Too late. He flicks the lights on and light floods my room, allowing Tamaki to see the mess I am.

“Oh Kaoru.” His voice is barely a whisper as he crosses the room in a heartbeat in order to comfort me. He pulls me into his embrace and eventually I stop fighting him and except the hug. I’m still crying, but the sobs that escaped my body earlier have finally stopped. Tamaki is trying to calm me with soothing words as one of his hands rub my back.

“Shhh Kaoru. Shhh... it’s ok, let it out. It’s ok... I’m right here.”

Eventually I manage to calm down enough where he allows me to detangle from his body. He gently cups my face with both of his hands, and when I try to pull away he just pulls me closer and plants a chaste kiss on my lips.

“I’m not mad at you Kaoru. I’m sorry for the way I acted earlier, it wasn’t your fault.”

I could only stare blankly at his face, trying to comprehend what he just told me.

Not mad? Not MAD!? Was he not there for the shouting match we had earlier? 

“I was mad because you got to be with the one you love, if only for a few moments. I... You were honest with me about your feelings towards Hikaru and I feel it’s only fair that I am honest with you.”

Is there someone else that Tamaki likes? And I didn’t know! Who could have grabbed Tamaki’s attention?

“Kaoru... I, uh... I...”

“What was that Tamaki? You started mumbling.”

Tamaki took a deep breath.

“I am in love with Kyouya.”

Huh?

“You are in love with Kyouya... yet started a relationship with me. And you accused me of using you? Wow, ok. Hypocrite much?”

“Listen Kaoru, I had no right to get mad at you earlier, but when you said that you got to kiss Hikaru... I just snapped. I mean, Hikaru was a total dick to you but now you know that he was just like that to cover up his feelings towards you. I’m not saying that acceptable, but he now returns your feelings. Kyouya picked work over me, hell he puts everything over me. I know I annoy him, and I know that it is pointless to hope that he might start paying attention to me. And then I saw you. I saw the same pain in your eyes when you looked at Hikaru that I felt every time I looked at Kyouya, so I decided that we could pine away together.”

I scoff at the absurdity of his plan.

“I know that it was a stupid plan, but the more I hung out with you, the more I wanted to fall in love with you. I wanted to let go of my feelings towards Kyouya because I knew that you would never hurt me... but you have Hikaru now, and I glad that one of us at least get the guy we want.”

Tamaki turned to start walking out the door when I finally spoke up.

“So you’re dumping me?”

Tamaki whipped around so fast that I chuckled at his comical face.

“But I... but you? I thought... Hikaru?”

I laughed as he continued to babble, trying to find the right words to piece together any sentence.

“Yes, Hikaru and I kissed. Yes, I still love him. But he also hurt me a lot with his actions these last few weeks. You on the other hand, never hurt me. I know that you have feelings for Kyouya and you know I have feelings for Hikaru. I also know that my feelings towards you are growing, and I hope your feelings are growing for me... How about we just hang out as friends and see where it takes us. And as for Kyouya, don’t give up on him.”

Tamaki blushes at my last comment but agrees to just being friends. I do want my feelings to grow for Tamaki, but at the same time I want Hikaru to come in and try to sweep me off my feet. I’m happy that Tamaki and I have cleared the air.

“Well Tamaki, in order to start off this new/old friendship, how about we go out and catch a movie?”

“After you, mon amour” Tamaki replied with a wink as we left the house hand in hand.

Hikaru’s P.O.V.-

“Kyouya, we need to talk.”

“What is it Hikaru?”

“I think that we have some things to discuss and I think it would be better if we went to your place after club activities.”

“Nonsense. Say it now or go back to your station where you are supposed to be,” Kyouya’s eyes gleamed dangerously as he addressed me.

“Alright. Lets talk about your feelings towards Tamaki.”

His dark aura practically exploded out of his body at the mention of his feelings. The eyes that regarded me now should have been frightening, but I would do anything to get Kaoru back... even if that means pissing off the Shadow King.

“You will not mention that again in this room,” Kyouya was seething, “You will come to my place after club activities and we will discuss how ridiculous your statement was. You can leave now.”

With that, I got up and walked back to where my customer finally sat.

He may say that I was ridiculous, but if it was I wouldn’t be going to his place after the Club. I know his feelings, and he will help.

***Later at Otori Residence***

Kyouya and I are sitting in his room, with a slightly awkward silence between us. I know what I want to discuss with him... but now that I am here, the words wont come. It is about 10 minutes before I gather the courage to speak.

“I’m in love with Kaoru.”

The statement caught Kyouya off guard but he quickly composed himself before answering.

“So? What does that have to do with me and that ridiculous thought you had earlier?”

“Kyouya, you can try to hide all you want but I know that you at least feel something more than friendship towards Tamaki. I see it in your reactions and your eyes. You care about him.”

Kyouya was struggling. He knew that I was right but he also thinks that he needs to remain untouchable. I needed to break through that tough exterior... I needed a way to reach the man underneath. Something caught my attention in his eyes. A fleeting look, it passed by so quickly that I almost wasn’t sure I saw it.

“Have you guys already acted on your mutual attraction?”

I watched Kyouya blush at my question.

Wait... blush?

Kyouya blushed?

KYOUYA BLUSHED!?!?

It was a shot in the dark... but... It paid off!

“Oh my god! Have you guys fucked?” That earned me a glare from him.

“No we haven’t ‘fucked’ as you so crudely put it... but yeah, we dated for a few weeks...”

“Wow. You guys are great at being discreet. I should have guessed something was going on between you two when the ‘mommy/daddy’ thing popped up. Why did you guys break up? Do you still love him?” I needed to know the answers so I could gadge how far he would go to help me.

“I don’t know why we broke up. I thought we were going strong until one day when Tamaki just said he couldn’t do it anymore and broke up with me.”

I could tell that recalling the breakup was getting to him. Even though he wasn’t crying, his eyes were starting to look a little misty.

“As for your second question Hikaru... yes. Yes, I still love him. I would do anything to try and fix what happened between us.”

Well that answers that question

“But I guess it can’t happen... I’m to late.”

“What? Why would you say that? You can still get him back!”

“Hikaru, Tamaki is in a relationship with your twin. I am not going to interfere in their relationship just for selfish desires. Besides, I doubt he still wants to be with me.”

“What if I told you that I can find out if he still wants you. Would you help then? If we know that Tamaki and Kaoru will be happier with us rather than each other, shouldn’t we help them?”

Kyouya looked hesitant. I needed to just push him a little more and I knew I would get him.

“Don’t you want Tamaki back?” I asked quietly, almost innocently, even though I was feeling anything other than that.

Kyouya’s determined eyes met mine, his jaw set.

“What did you have in mind?”

Checkmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! Another fun chapter guys! Yes I aware that Hikaru is being very selfish at the end of this chapter with that whole “shouldn’t we help them” speech but if he wasn’t being selfish, then he wouldn’t be the Hikaru that we have a love/hate relationship with :)
> 
> What does Hikaru have in mind? How does Hikaru plan on finding out Tamaki’s feelings? Who will win the battle over Kaoru’s heart? Does Haruhi have a surprise to share with the club? Find out whenever I choose to post the next chapter!
> 
> P.S. not all of the questions above will be answered in the next chapter, but some will ;)


	14. Plotting

Rima’s P.O.V.-

I have seen some amazing things in my life. I mean, come on! I go to the host club on a regular basis, some weird shit happens here. But never, in all my time at the Host Club, have I ever seen Kyouya and Hikaru together and talking without Kyouya looking like he is ready to stab Hikaru in the throat. I turned to face Kaoru on the couch we were sharing towards the corner of the room.

“Hey Kaoru... do you know why your brother and Kyouya are hanging out all of a sudden?”

Kaoru looked shocked at the idea of the two of them spending time together and whipped his head around to try and catch a glimpse of the startling sight.

“No... I have... I don’t know.” Kaoru looked crestfallen at the notion of not knowing something about his twin, and I saw tears starting to gather in his eyes. He's been taking his separation from Hikaru very hard up until now, but I never thought the mere mention of his brother would set him off. Not normally one for holding back on my impulses, I grabbed Kaoru and pulled him into a hug, hating the defeated look he had on his face.

And this is how Kyouya and Hikaru found us, my arms wrapped around Kaoru with his tearstained face buried into the crook of my neck. Kaoru has yet to see them but when he feels me stiffen, he quickly tries to pull himself together so no one can see his tears.

“Um... Kaoru... we know that Rima is your customer... but uh...” Hikaru stuttered when he saw the tear tracks on his twin’s face.

“Ms. Rima, if you don’t mind, we would love a few moments of your time. We promise to return you to Kaoru soon,” the ever calm Kyouya supplied when he saw Hikaru floundering.

I think I know what they want to talk to me about, and I have been waiting for these two to make a move for weeks.

“Kaoru... Kaoru honey.” Kaoru shifted enough to let me know he was listening. “I think you might want to go to the bathroom to clean yourself up, don’t you think?”

Kaoru nodded and left with only a passing glance towards his twin. Once he was out of sight I turned my attention towards the two idiots.

“You have until he gets back to talk. And I must say I’m surprised it took you two this long to finally pull your heads out of your asses and realized you are very close to loosing those you treasure most.”

To say that they looked stunned would have been an understatement. Kyouya was the first one to regain some semblance of composure.

“Ms. Rima, you seem to have a deep understanding of things that you really should have no business knowing. I assure you that whatever ideas are floating around in that head of yours are...”

“Drop the act Kyouya. If you both are coming to me to help fix your relationships, you better be able to fess up to who you like or you can forget it. Tamaki deserves that much from you... for now.”

“You’re right Rima!" Hikaru said, jumping in before Kyouya could try to contradict me. "I love Kaoru and Kyouya loves Tamaki and we want help winning them back” Hikaru said vehemently.

Hikaru sounded so sure that with a little inside knowledge from me, they would be able to win Kaoru and Tamaki back easily with little struggle. They needed to be dissuaded of that notion quickly and effectively. I knew just how to do it using a little bit of information Kaoru had given me that I knew they didn’t have to my advantage........

“So let me get this straight. You want me to break up a perfectly happy couple just because you two want them after you finally realized they will not always be around to be your emotional punching bags. Hikaru, I’m assuming you think I have some magical power that will make Kaoru forget the pain you caused him when you practically disowned him as a brother. And Kyouya, you want Tamaki to understand that he will never come first to you because work is always more important, right?”

I watched as my words sank in. They were so shocked that their jaws had actually dropped. Before either could try to say otherwise, I saw Kaoru entering the room again looking slightly better but still a little shaky. I turned my attention back to Kyouya and Hikaru.

“Kaoru is coming back so we need to shelve this conversation for later. Now that I feel you are both going to listen I will agree to talk more in depth about your problem. Both of you are going to stay after the club finishes today so we can discuss this without being interrupted. I will be here a few minutes after you guys close. Now leave.”

They both nodded and left right before Kaoru sat down. Glancing over his shoulder at his retreating twin, Kaoru tried to look like he was uninterested at what had happened... and failed miserably.

“So.... what did they want to talk to you about?”

“Nothing you need to worry yourself over, now... tell me more about what happened when Tamaki showed up after your fight.”

*After Club Closing*

It’s almost half an hour after the club closes for the day that I finally show up. I figured I would give them some time to sort themselves before I started demanding things of them.

“Now, are you guys finally ready to get down to business?” I ask as I enter the club.

The door slamming open startles Kyouya and Hikaru, however their surprise doesn’t last long and they both school their features to those of grim resolve. Hikaru is the first to speak.

“Earlier... earlier you said they were happy but I knew they were fighting just yesterday. So that must mean that they aren’t going to be together much longer.... right?”

I can only stare at the pure stupid naivety of that statement. It’s almost like he has no idea how relationships work... Oh... It’s easy to forget the twin’s background with how openly they act at the club. His only real relationship outside of the one with Kaoru was with Haruhi, and that relationship was doomed from the start. Hikaru really has no idea how relationships work...

“Hikaru, couple fight all the time and still stay together in the end.” Hikaru looks crestfallen, but I continue on trying to abate some of his fears. “However... luckily for you two they are not in a relationship and are waiting for you guys to sweep them off their feet.”

They looked confused, and I could tell it took a few minutes for what I just said to click.

“Wait a minute Ms. Rima, you stated earlier that you would not help us break up the , and I quote, the ‘perfectly happy couple.’ What do you mean that they are not in a relationship?”

“I mean exactly that Kyouya. They decided mutually yesterday that they were both in love with dimwits and until the two morons came to their senses, Tamaki and Kaoru would be friends and hooray if it progressed farther. Luckily for you guys, the dimwits I mentioned are you two!”

“So they aren’t.... together?” Hikaru asked in a voice barely above a whisper, but I could still hear the hope that started blossoming underneath.

“No, they aren’t. Not yet at least, which means that you don’t have much time to try and woo them back. Hikaru, you have to try and fix whatever bond there is between you and Kaoru. I am not going to pretend I understand how to go about fixing something that special between you two, but I think that if you try hard enough you will know exactly how to fix it on your own. If you manage to repair the bond you shared, then you should be able to get Kaoru back. Kyouya, you need to show Tamaki that he is loved. Even if you are not the type of person to say ‘I love you’ a lot, which I believe you aren’t, you need to be able to at least show Tamaki that you love him. Cut back on work in his presence. Spend a day with him, focusing only on him. I am not saying that you need to give up all the work that you do, and I’m sure Tamaki wouldn’t like that either, but once a week put work aside and just pay attention to him. If he knows that you love him, he will not be so quick to leave at the first sign of trouble. Now you both need to understand, the problems you have with Tamaki and Kaoru will not be fixed overnight, and if you think they can be, I will tell you both right now that you will lose them forever if you keep that attitude.”

I can’t say exactly how long we sat there in silence of the abandoned Club room, but I knew the silence was too important for me to break. I knew it had to be one of them, and (unsurprisingly really) Hikaru was the first to break it.

“Thank you Rima. Now I can see why my twin likes you so much. You don’t hold anything back.”

“And why should I? You guys asked for my help and I knew that was hard enough for you guys to begin with, I wasn’t going to mess around with this topic because these two are important to me.”

Kyouya finally decided to speak up.

“Ms. Rima, I can not thank you enough for your advice towards helping us amend our problems. You really are a very loyal friend, and those two are lucky that you have befriended them.”

By this time there was really nothing left to say and I knew it was time for me to leave. I stood up from the armchair and with a quick goodbye, made my way to the door, leaving them both seated. Just as I reached the door, I turned and regarded them one last time.

“One last thing.”

I waited until I had both of their attention before I continued.

“Hurt them like that again and I will kill you, no matter who or what you think can protect you. Money, power, and even family police will not keep me from killing you if you ever crush them like that again.”

And with those words still echoing through the room, I turned and left shutting the door quietly behind me.

Hikaru’s P.O.V.-

I continued to watch the door for a few minutes after Rima left. Not that I thought she would actually kill me.... but still, the light in her eyes when she made that parting comment sent shivers down my spine. Best not tempt fate and all that....

I turned to Kyouya, who seemed to be in his own little world at that time. I wondered what he was thinking about but quickly pushed those thoughts aside. Trying to psychoanalyze Kyouya would probably only end in death.

Now, more importantly I needed to think about how I could use what Rima said to win Kaoru back. I knew that our bond was incredibly weak, but I naively thought it would fix itself over time. I should have known that something this special between Kaoru and I would need work on my part to fix, but like I said I was naive, but no more. I am going to think of things so amazing, Kaoru is going to have to forgive me! I will strengthen this bond if it is the last thing I do!

Apparently Kyouya must have come to some conclusion as well because when I looked up, he was regarding me with the same look of determination I was feeling. With a quick nod to Kyouya, I stood and started to walk towards the door.

“Let’s go win our men back Kyouya!”


	15. Do You Want to Go Out Tonight?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine. I only take credit for the lovely Rima, everyone else belongs to their creators.
> 
> Fun times are coming! I think I can wrap this story up in five or six chapters, but I make no promises. I always laugh when I see people say their stories will end in a chapter or two and then there ends up being another ten, so I am telling you all now, DO NOT HOLD ME TO THIS!
> 
> Also, I think that I want to do an entire chapter dedicated strictly to Kyouya and Tamaki. Please give me feedback if anyone actually wants to see that happen. If not than it will simply be mentioned in passing. ANYWAY! On with the story.

**Hikaru’s P.O.V.-**

Ok, this is it. This is the day I begin to strengthen our bond... now... if only I knew how to go about doing it. I mean, it's not for lack of trying! I have been racking my brain for the entire week after Kyouya and I had our talk with Rima, and still nothing.

Maybe I’m thinking too hard, but... it’s just I want to be with Kaoru so much and... and it physically hurts me, not being as close as we were. I remember this one time when a new place opened nearby, oh man... he was so excited that.... what was that place?

It was a... a...

_Oh Wait! That’s it!_

**Kaoru’s P.O.V.-**

I’m worried... Hikaru has been acting odd for a few days now and I constantly catch him throwing quick glances my way. It’s a Friday afternoon right before the club is supposed to start that Hikaru finally approaches me.

“Hey Kaoru. How are you doing?”

“Fine. You seem nervous... are you ok?”

“Well, I umm... I was wondering if you were going home after the club let out and would be free tonight?”

His question confused me because... well... It’s been so long since he’s cared where I am anymore. I would be lying if I tied to deny that he didn't pique my interest.

“Where else would I be going?”

“Well, I thought... I guess I thought you would go to... Tamaki’s place.” Hikaru’s voice as he spoke became softer, until his voice was barely above a whisper by the time he finished talking.

“Why would I be going to Tamaki’s?” I knew that he was trying to ask me something... but I couldn’t help but play with him a little, seeing that he caused me a lot of pain over the last few months.

“Well, I thought you would be spending time with your boyfriend.”*

Oh, right... he still thinks that Tamaki and I are together...

“Nope, I am free tonight. Why do you ask?”

I could tell I finally asked the right question because I saw a small spark of excitement in Hika’s eyes that hadn't been there our entire conversation.

“Well! I thought that, since you’re free tonight, we can go out tonight! Not on a date or anything... it’s just... I miss spending time with you... I really... I really miss you Kaoru.”

Hika sounded so sincere. He just... he sounded so lonely and sad. I knew that this could lead to problems if I said yes. I'm still hung up on him, and he said he was going to try and win back my love... and I’m not sure I trust him with this whole “not a date” thing... 

But...

“I miss you too Hika. And yes, I would love to go out with you tonight.”

Hika’s smile could have rivaled the sun. He looked so happy that I had agreed to go out with him that I couldn’t help but smile back at him. His joy was infectious.

“Great! That’s... that’s great! Ok, so we are going to leave the mansion around six. I mean, if that’s ok with you...”

“Yeah it’s fine but where are we going?”

“Oh! I can’t tell you. It’s a surprise but you are going to want to dress casual. Meet me in the front foyer at six sharp! See you then!”

And with that parting comment, Hikaru left. He was practically bouncing with energy for the rest of the day, enough to the point where even the customers could tell he was excited about something. Every time Hika was asked what had hum so jumpy, he would simply say that he had plans with me later and refused to elaborate further.

Since we were not fighting each other anymore, our sections were being moved closer to each other, which is how I was able to hear some of the comments in the first place. I know it might seem petty, but until our bond was renewed I didn't feel comfortable taking customers together, which is why we were still separated.

I have to admit though, the idea that Hika went through all the trouble of making plans for us in the first was exciting. I am really looking forward to our da... night out... and I can’t wait to see what Hika has in store for us.

*****Hitachiin Residence*****

So to say that I am a nervous wreck right now is an understatement. Hika said to dress casually but did he mean  _commoner_  casual or _our_ casual? I mean... I should assume our casual right? Ha, like Hika would ever take me to a commoner hangout... but he did date Haruhi... and she was a commoner... so maybe he likes commoner places now... so I should dress in commoner casual... But I don't think I even _own_ any commoner casual! So then I should go get some. I think I have time...

But what if we go somewhere where I need our kind of casual!

Now I’m just talking myself in circles. This needs to stop before I give myself a brain aneurysm.

I guess I can try and do a mixture of the two... Oh god! I need advice before I end up tearing my hair out... and I know just who to call!

*Ring Ring*

**Hello?**

Rima! It’s Kaoru, I need your help! I don’t know what to wear, and Hika said we were going out tonight but I should wear casual, but I don't know what type of casual he means, and I DON’T OWN ANY COMMONER CASUAL!

**Stop panting hon and take a deep breath. Now, try to explain that one more time and speak calmly and clearly. Now, you said that Hikaru is taking you out tonight?**

Yeah, ok. So Hikaru asked me before the club started today if I was free after the club let out. I said yes because I am but he won’t tell me where we are going. He said that it was a surprise but I should wear casual.

**Ok, so what’s the problem?**

I don’t know what I should wear! Have you not been listening?!

**Honey, I have been listening to the ramblings of a mental patient for the last five minutes who is freaking out over nothing because he has a case of the first date jitters.**

No I...

**Now, here is what you are going to do. You are going to dress like you normally would in any casual dress situation. I think those dark wash designer jeans that show off your ass and a nice designer t-shirt to match.**

Umm, I think I know the jeans you are talking about, but this isn’t a date Rima. Why would I want jeans like that?

**Because Kaoru, you are going to show him what he wishes he had. Now, you seem like you aren’t about to give yourself a heart attack and I am watching over my cousins now so I need to go. Just relax and remember what you said, this is not a date! So stop freaking out and just spend some quality time with your twin. Bye!**

Thanks, I do feel much better. Good luck with the babysitting and I’ll tell you how it goes on Monday. Bye!

*Click*

_Ok, so now I know what I’m wearing. I wonder how much time I have before our da... night out begins?_

I glance over at my bedside clock and see the glowing numbers 5:30.

_WAIT! IT’S 5:30!!! OH MY GOD!_

By the time I finally finish getting dressed and ready it’s a few minutes to six, and by the time I race to the front foyer it’s 5:59. For some reason I don't see Hika yet and I am starting to get a little worried that he is blowing me off. I'm not totally surprised though. It just means that he finally came to his senses about...

*knock knock*

_Is that... is someone seriously knocking on our door at 6?_  

I figure since I am right here I might as well answer it. I open the door without bothering to see who is on the other side.

“Hi, can I help...”

_Oh my!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I just lay on the cliff hangers don’t I. Somehow I feel like this is a really obvious one, but that also might just be because I already have the next two chapters planned out. Oh well! Also, I know that this seems like a very short chapter because it is and I know that there has been a disconcerting lack of smut in an M rated story, but it will get smuttier so don’t worry. HOLD IN THERE PLEASE MY LOYAL READERS AND YOU SHALL BE REWARDED! Ok, I’m done now. I have class early tomorrow so I am going to bed now. Goodnight!
> 
> *Yes, I am fully aware that I had Rima tell him in the last chapter that Kaoru and Tamaki are no longer together! Hikaru is pretending not to know! What kind of schemer would he be if he told the person he is trying to woo that the wooée is single!?


	16. Going Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine yadda yadda yadda, anyway on to the good stuff!
> 
> Ok, so this I guess this is the chapter that is still lacking in smut, but not lacking at all in the Sexual Tension category. Now, lets see if I can actually write sexual tension without sounding like an idiot! Yay!

Kaoru’s P.O.V.-

“Hi, can I help...”

'Oh my!'

“Umm, hello Hikaru... why are you outside knocking on our front door? You told me to meet you in the foyer.”

Hikaru was standing outside wearing clothes much like mine thankfully. Thanks Rima! He had both hands behind his back and he wasn’t looking at me, but I couldn’t help but notice the faint blush that dusted his cheeks. Finally, Hika spoke and although he still wasn’t looking at me, he was sending small glances my way.

“I uh, I hope you’re ready for your surprise. And before we go... I umm, I got you this.”

And with a flourish of his wrist he produced the most beautiful looking rose I have ever seen! Something was off about the color though because it wasn’t a deep red but rather... orangey? But not orange per say...

Hikaru must have seen me studying the rose because he finally spoke up.

“Your hair.”

“What about my hair?” Oh my god he hates the way my hair looks! I spent so long on it... well maybe less time than I should have but...

“The color of the rose matches your hair, at least, it’s as close to the color of your hair I could find on such short notice.” By the time he finished explaining the rose, the blush on Hika’s cheeks was a deep shade of red, but he was finally looking me in the eye.

“Thank you Hika,” the blush on my cheeks rising as well, “that was very thoughtful of you.”

Hika gave me a tender smile and our gazes locked over the rose. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to look into my twins eyes without feeling shame. His amber eyes are so beautiful, it’s like they shine in the fading light... almost like they are swallowing me whole...

I startle out of my musings, noticing that the distance between Hikaru and I has decreased substantially. My blush deepens and I avert my eyes, backing away before I can do anything that could ruin the truce between Hika and I. When I finally regain my composure I risk a glance at Hika and see that he also looks embarrassed at our almost kiss.

“Well, umm, now that you have picked me up for our night out, can you finally tell me where you are taking me?”

Hika beamed and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the limo before he answered.

“No can do Kao! I told you earlier that it was a surprise and a surprise it will be!”

We got into the limo and sat in a comfortable silence as the driver took us to our secret destination. I could tell that Hikaru was really excited for us to get to where ever we were going because he could barely keep himself still.

We finally arrived at our destination and I was stunned. We were parked in the empty parking lot of the aquarium in town that opened a few months ago. I really wanted to go when it opened but I could never find anyone to go with me, and really... who goes to the aquarium alone?

I glance over at Hikaru and see that he is staring intently at me, I guess to gadge my reaction. I wasn’t saying anything and I could tell that was killing Hika’s excitement, but I was simply too stunned to say anything. Hika must have taken my silence for rejection and he looked stricken at the thought that this evening was a failure.

“I... umm... I thought that you... I remember that you were excited when this place opened and I thought that you would’ve liked to be here without the crowds... so I uh, I bought this place out for the night so it would only be us... but you hate this obviously so tell me where you want to go and I’ll make it happen! We’ll go anywhere you want, just don’t say you want to go home please! We can go to the...”

I cut him off by pulling him in for a fierce hug. Tears were streaming down my face knowing that he went through all this trouble for me.

“Thank you! Thank you so much Hika!”

“You’re welcome Kao.”

I’m not sure how long we stood there, but it felt so nice simply being held by Hika, almost like I was finally coming home.

“Hmm, Kaoru,” Hikaru whispered in my ear, “I love holding you like this.”

Lightning shot up my spine when I felt Hikaru’s lips on my neck, and his hot breath tantalizing my skin. I tried to bite back a whimper but some sound must have escaped because next thing I know, Hika is pushing me away and looking everywhere but at me.

“Lets uh” Hika clears his throat, “let’s get started, shall we.”

Not even waiting for my answer Hikaru grabs my hand and starts dragging me towards the entrance

When we get inside, I allow my enthusiasm to show and drag Hikaru everywhere. I can tell this is going to be a great night!

Hikaru’s P.O.V.-

I loved looking at Kao when he had that one smile on his face, the one where it could light up a city block for a year. Even his eyes radiated his happiness. It’s been so long since I’ve seen that smile, and I would do anything to continue seeing it.

Little did Kaoru know, I remember much more than he thinks I do.

I grab Kaoru’s hand to stop him from running around the next corner, smiling a little wickedly at knowing what was to come. Kaoru turned, puzzled at why I was halting our progress.

“Hikaru, what is it? Why did we stop?”

“Because baka, you were going to ruin the surprise! Now I want you to close your eyes before we turn this next corner.”

“Why? What have you got planned over there?”

“I guess you aren’t going to find out because you aren’t closing your eyes” I say, smirking at the irked expression that crosses my twin’s face.

Rolling his eyes, but too excited to see what I have planned, Kaoru complies and closes his eyes. I grab his hand once more and pull him towards the surprise. When we round the corner I place Kaoru right in the center of the room and stand back.

“Ok Kao. You can open your eyes now.”

I watch in anticipation as he opens his eyes and takes in the scene before him. Before him is a circular room with glass walls and benches lining the walls. In the middle of the room is a small table set up for two to dine while able to take in the surrounding wildlife. The wildlife is, in fact, the penguin exhibit. Penguins, which have been Kaoru’s favorite animal practically since birth.

The elation that crosses his face when he realizes what is about to happen is heartwarming. I feel heat curling up in my abdomen at the knowledge that I did this for him, that I made him this happy.

Kaoru turned and, without hesitation, pulled me in for a quick kiss before running off to look at the penguins up close.

Stunned.

Frozen.

I couldn’t move.

My lips, that were touched by his moments earlier, were burning. Heat was raging through my body, consuming me from the inside out.

He did it without thinking. I know that. He was just caught up in the emotions that the circumstances brought up. I know that.

I know that... but I want more anyway.

“Hika! Look at all the penguins! There are so many! This is so cool, thank you!”

I was shaken from my thoughts at the sound of Kaoru’s excited laughter. I pulled myself together and forced my arousal down in order to face Kaoru.

“And we are going to have our dinner right here. I knew penguins were your favorite when we were kids so I thought you would like dinner here. Is that ok?”

“YES! This is so amazing Hika, you really went all out for tonight.”

“Well sit down and let me get dinner out for us,” Kaoru sat as I pulled out a basket of food from underneath the table, “I had our chef prepare some food for tonight that didn’t need to be heated, since I didn’t know how long it would take to get to this room. It’s just some finger sandwiches. I hope you enjoyed the night so far.”

Kaoru started digging into his food with gusto and conversation flowed easily for the first time in months. We skated around the topic of Haruhi but no other topic was taboo, even Tamaki was brought up when we mentioned some of his crazy antics at the club.

After we finished dinner, we finished the rest of the tour around the aquarium, ending at the gift shop. When Kaoru left to go to the bathroom, I went into the shop and bought him a giant stuffed penguin. When he returned and saw me standing there with a huge penguin in my arms, his whole face lit up and he began to laugh.

“What do we have here Hikaru? Did you buy a new friend? Hahaha!”

“Actually Kao, I bought this for you so you can always remember this night we had.”

Even though I knew I was blushing after I said that, there was no way that my blush was deeper than Kaoru’s. His cheeks were the deepest red I have ever seen as he reached in to grab the gift.

“Umm. Tha... Thank you Hika. That was... very thoughtful of you.”

After that, we headed back to the limo and began our drive back home.

And if Kaoru’s hand was held in mine the entire ride, that was neither here nor there.

By the time we got back to the mansion, it was almost 11. I decided that I would walk Kaoru to his bedroom door... just to make sure that he didn’t trip over anything while carrying that stuffed animal around of course...

We paused outside his door and stood there for way longer than we should have, neither of us wanting the night to end. Finally, I broke the silence.

“I uh, hope you had fun tonight Kaoru. I know I did.”  
“Yeah! It was great. The surprise was great. The entire evening was...”

“Great?” I asked jokingly.

“Yeah... ha, great.”

“Well, than I must bid you goodnight brother dear. I am glad you enjoyed your evening.”

Without thinking it through, I grabbed Kaoru’s hand and placed a small peck on the back of it.

“Goodnight Kao.”

And with that I turned towards my bedroom and shut the door. Leaning back, a huge smile broke out across my face. Why exactly?

Not because of the wonderful dinner.

Not because of the way I got his eyes to light up with excitement.

Not even because of the kiss he gave me.

Nope, not any of those.

It’s because, for the first time in forever...

Our bond was stirring back to life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YAAAAAY! Another chapter done. I’m really trying to get chapters out but I’m writing my ten page paper and it’s due in two weeks. I really kinda need to get started on it and all sooooo... Not regular chapter updates but I swear I will not leave you hanging for months again! Posting soon hopefully!


	17. Restless Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "..." is speech
> 
> '...' is thought

Kaoru’s P.O.V.-

'I felt our bond! I actually felt our bond!'

I was cradling my hand to my chest as Hika shut his door behind him. The place where he kissed my hand burned hot compared to the rest of my skin. For the first time in a very long time, I had felt our bond. Granted it was nothing more than a flutter, but it was there!

I wanted to knock on his door and... and... and simply ravish the smug bastard. He knows what he does to me, and yet he does it anyway.

Although, his idea for our night out (can also be read as DATE) was incredibly thoughtful. I never knew that he was listening to me when I was talking about the aquarium opening, and I never would have thought he would make a dinner setting in my favorite animal section!

It was getting really late and I needed a shower so I put my newly acquired stuffed penguin on my bed and hoped in the shower, trying to make it short without any “extra” time being taken. I tried to ignore the way that the water caressed my body. Ignore the way the water trailed across my skin like Hika’s fingers might dance across it. Ignore the burning desire for my twin that might cause any parts of my anatomy to become interested.

Fuck it.

I grabbed my aching prick and tried to stifle a gasp at the intense pleasure that raced through my body. My cock throbbed hot and hard in my hand.

I’ve given up trying to pretend I don’t get off thinking about my twin, so I allow my mind freedom to imagine. I imagine one of Hikaru’s hands caressing the plains of my chest, tweaking my nipples which causes more arousal to pool in my stomach. The other hand is holding onto my aching prick, stroking it slowly and allowing the arousal to build gradually. I hear Hika’s voice in my ear, soft and sensual, coaxing me closer to climax.

'God Kaoru, I barely touched you and you’re already leaking. You want my cock so badly right now, don’t you?'

A groan escapes me as my hand tightens around my engorged member. I stop my ministrations for a moment in order to lather my hands in soap. I am quick to replace one hand on my cock but the other reaches behind to play with my ass.

'Oh Kaoru! Look at how eager you are for my cock. You’re practically gagging for it aren’t you? You want my hard cock right inside your ass, don’t you? Do you think a tiny ass hole like yours can take a cock like mine?'

By this point, I’m pretty sure I’m moaning like a bitch in heat but I could care less. Not with two fingers inside me and my other hand stroking my prick so fast.

“Oh, oh... Hik... Hika, I’m gonna... I’m gonna cum!”

'Cum for me Kaoru. Right now.'

Right then, I grazed my prostate and that was my undoing. I felt my muscles clench around my fingers as my cock twitched once before spurting my release into the drain.

It wasn’t until I’d dried off and was dressing for bed that I realized exactly what I had just done.

'Oh my god, I just jerked off to Hika! One good night with him in forever and now my body thinks it’s ok to masturbate to my twin!'

Mortified by my lack of self control, I crawled into bed expecting another sleepless night due to my guilty conscious.

However, I soon found myself drifting off to sleep with Hika’s and my date replaying in my head.

*******************************

Hikaru’s P.O.V.-

I stood outside Kao’s door until I heard his shower running before I turned and walked into my room. I shut my door and simply leaned against it for a few minutes. My trembling hand came up to touch my lips, remembering how they had brushed against my brother’s skin just a few moments ago.

To my upmost delight, I had felt a stirring in our bond after I had kissed Kao’s hand. I was ecstatic to find out that I was finally undoing all of the damage I had done to our bond. I knew, without a doubt, that I would do anything to get Kao to smile and laugh again like he did tonight. It has been so long since I’ve seen him look at me like he did tonight, with adoration in his eyes.

The events of today are finally catching up to me and I feel exhaustion seep into my body. I strip out of my clothes and reach into my drawer for some pajama bottoms.

Don’t ask me what made me actually look at the pants I was putting on but something made me stop dressing and just look.

'These aren’t mine...'

I know that I have an abundance of clothes and any normal person would never remember every article of clothing they own, but I remember the day that these pajama’s were purchased... and it wasn’t by me.

It was some time last fall, before all the problems started piling up between Kaoru and I, and the host club was indulging Tamaki in one of his “fun” commoner exertions in the mall.

******FLASHBACK******

“Oh Kyouya, we must stop in here! Look at all the delightful commoner clothing in this store! The colors are so bright!”

“Tamaki...” Haruhi looked like she was ready to scold the King once again for not thinking before he spoke, “You can’t just comment that everything is for commoners here.”

I zoned out of their conversation and glanced over at Kaoru, who was looking at something inside the store that Tamaki had pointed out. I tried to guess what he was looking at so intensely, but was stopped short by Tamaki grabbing our arms and pulling us into the store.

We have been in this store for almost an hour and I am about to hurt someone... preferably Tamaki. He refuses to leave this store until we have all separately tried on at least 5 things from this store, and of course, Kyouya is being obstinate.

It took me longer than it should have to realize that Kaoru is no longer among our group by the changing rooms, so I go in search of him.

When I do find Kaoru, he is by the front of the store, looking at a rack full of pajama bottoms. I can tell that he is unaware of the audience of women that are watching him from the next rack over. I don’t think that he has noticed my presence yet so I decide to have some fun with it.

I slip up behind Kaoru, wrap my arms around his waist and whisper just loud enough for the women to hear.

“Picking out something that I have the privilege to take off you later?” I say suggestively into his ear.

The desired reaction from the women was immediately evident from the swooning I heard to my right, but Kaoru... Kaoru’s reaction was...

strange...

Granted, when we are at the club, all our moves are preplanned or at least expected but I’ve never had this reaction before.

Kaoru just... froze. At first I figured that he didn’t know it was me but even after I spoke his posture didn’t loosen up... it might have even become more ridged. I try to lean around him to look him in the eyes but his eyes remain steadfast and locked onto a pair of... penguin pajama bottoms?

Thinking fast, I grab the bottoms from Kaoru and begin walking toward the check out.

“Hikaru! What... what are you doing? Put those back!” Kaoru jogged up to me and grabbed the pants before I could hand them to the cashier, but I quickly grabbed them back and handed them to the woman behind the counter.

Before Kaoru could question me further I cut him off with a few simple words.

“You’ve been looking at these since we walked in here, and knowing you, you wont buy them so I am.”

“But if you don’t want them, then why...”

“I’m buying them for you, baka!”

He looked confused for one moment before a dark blush stole across his face. I must admit, he looks cute when he blushes.

I pay for the pajamas and hand the bag to my twin, who mumbles something that resembles a thank you under his breath, with that blush never leaving his face.

*****END FLASHBACK*****

It amazes me that these are the pajamas that I pull out today. Kaoru’s light blue pajama bottoms with icebergs and penguins... Kaoru’s favorite animal.

I should give these back to him... even if I don’t give them back tonight, I should at least put these aside and get other pjs. But my body doesn’t quite agree with what my mind is saying, and I find myself sliding into Karou’s pajama bottoms.

I lay in bed for what seems like hours but is probably only 5 minutes. My body feels like it’s filled with restless energy, like I wont be able to sleep unless I do something...

When I think about it, I’m not really restless so much as... horny?

Granted, I haven’t jerked off in a while but nothing really brought this on. I got ready for bed like normal, grabbed paja... oh!

These are Kaoru’s pjs. These have covered his most intimate of areas. He might have jerked off wearing these... maybe even while thinking of me! I mean, he said he’s loved me for a long time.

Just thinking of Kaoru jerking off while wearing these is making me really horny. My hand trails down by chest before settling over my half hard dick. Adding just a small amount of pressure is causing my dick to twitch and swell just a little more. I close my eyes and wonder how much better this would be if the hands on me weren’t my own.

‘Well what do we have here? Are you being naughty Hika?’

I open my eyes and imagine seeing Kaoru leaning over me, arms on both sides of my head and straddling my waist.

‘You know that I am supposed to be the naughty one out of the two of us,’ I hear Kaoru say. We always pretended Kaoru was on the receiving end of many wicked sexual acts... and what I wouldn’t give to have those acts be real now.

I slip my hand under the fabric of my underwear and grab hold of my cock, which hardened rather quickly once I imagined Kaoru was here. Pre cum has already collected at the slit, which I use to try and ease the process.

I think back to the kiss he gave me earlier at the aquarium, that quick peck on the lips which ignited my passion. Thinking back on that kiss makes me think of Kaoru’s mouth... and the other things he can do with it.

I pull my pants and underwear off in one swift move, imagining that Kaoru is the one undressing me, and desperate to have friction back on my aching cock. I’m close, but I need something to push me just a little bit more to tip over the edge.

‘Oh Hika, you’re so big! Can I have a taste?’

My fantasy Kaoru is kneeling between my legs, his face hovering right over my cock. I let go of my cock long enough to lick my palm before returning the the task at hand. The added moister makes it easier to imagine Kaoru’s mouth on my prick, swallowing me down to the hilt.

“Oh, oh! Ka... Kaoru!”

That image alone, of my innocent brother taking my hard cock in his mouth, is enough to finish myself off. I come, covering my hand and stomach in fluid, and continue to lie there for a few minutes trying to regain my breath.

I eventually clean myself up and pull my pants back on. I want that to happen outside of my imagination so desperately, I would do anything.

'Tomorrow, Kaoru wont know what hit him. I will make him mine.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY A CHAPTER FOR YOU GUYS!!! I am so sorry that I haven’t posted in a while but I’ve had some issues to deal with and I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to write this story. This is also my sad attempt at smut when I wasn’t really feeling inspired, but I needed to get a chapter out for you lovely readers that have, for some unknown reason, stuck with this sorry excuse of a story.
> 
> I’m warning you guys now, the next chapter will be focusing on Tamaki and Kyouya’s relationship. If you don’t want to read that... to bad, that is the next chapter.
> 
> Thank you guys again for sticking with me. Read and review please, it makes me happy! :)


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